Fighting the Blues

Okay, it has been a very long week. We have been praying for clarity about next year and I just keep getting more discouraged and confused. I long for the God of the OT right now who will tell me flat out what to do.

Jo got sick with a horrible cold this week. Well, actually LK and Fi have it too, but they are on the mend. I finally took him into the clinic on Thursday morning after our second sleepless night with him crying and coughing/barking. The nurse thought she heard something in his left lung and suggested that I take him in to get a chest x-ray in town. While we were at the clinic I mentioned that I had experiences a really horrible bout of indigestion the day and a half before- she thought it sounded like a gall bladder attack; and I should definitely get that looked at.

Since I had just spent most of the day before in town I didn't have the stamina (or the attention after two sleepless nights) to go in on Thursday. I also knew that we had to go in Friday for a follow-up to my appointment from Wednesday. So we went on Friday.

We spent 5 hours in the Kenora emergency room, which is staffed with gracious nurses, and a harried, but kind ER doctor. Jo had healed enough that his lungs were clear; he was cranky and sick, but just a cold... although the rash on his face may be chicken pox. If it turns out to be, please don't bring him back... We are waiting to see what happens with his spots.

After blood tests, urine tests and an abdominal ultra-sound (which is not nearly as exciting when you are not looking for a baby in there) I was told that I have an ulcer. Now an ulcer sounds bad, but it is substantially better than the other options she was looking at (gall bladder or liver). The ulcer is because of where I live. I thought she was referring to stress- which I understood was the cause of an ulcer. My reaction was, "But I've only been here a year!"

It seems that ulcers are primarily caused by a bacteria that thrives in "third world living conditions" (those are her words). My jaw dropped. Okay it is a bit rustic, but third world.... I am on meds for a month to lower acid production in my stomach which should allow the ulcer to heal on its own.

My first question about the bacteria was whether I should worry about the health of my kids. She suggested scrupulous drinking of clean (ie. bottled) water only. So, Jo is not to drink his bathwater anymore. How am I going to enforce that one?

Emotionally I feel overwhelmed by struggles of being here right now. We don't feel at home, our faith community is distant, or families are so far away, emotional and now physical health is an issue and Fi's schooling needs are a rapidly growing concern. I don't know how we can stay another year... but there seems to be no other option. Plus, stress increases the symptoms of an ulcer.

Where is my burning bush?