Affirmation

I do a lot of second guessing when I make a decision. Little decisions and big decisions, it doesn't really matter. I definitely lack confidence in knowing that I have done the right thing- from what is appropriate to wear to an event to what job to accept and, consequently, where to live. I have spent a LOT of time analyzing and discussing ad nauseum over the past month the latter. (Interestingly, the former has become a lot less important- and if you know me well, that's quite a change.)

My friends and family have been extremely patient with my navel gazing this month, for that I am very grateful. I hope that this season has come to an end, because last night I got a phone call from a beloved sister in Christ who gave me great encouragement that what are about to do is the right thing to do. A few posts ago I was looking for a burning bush or an open sea ready to walk across. I got it. So now I am full of confidence that Grassy Narrows is part of God's plan for our lives.

Unfortunately confidence doesn't erase fear. I am still afraid of the changes- mostly the changes that will happen within me in the next twelve months. I know that LK and I will come out of this very different than we are going in. I know that I shouldn't be afraid of change- in fact I usually instigate change and embrace it wholeheartedly, but I am learning as I grow up that change in your own heart often is hard. It usually involves letting go of some aspect of myself that I liked or enjoyed- but was not in God's image. So I now anticipate more transformation.