What doesn't kill you...

You know the expression, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I am not sure how much I agree with it as it doesn't leave much space for grace, however this week it was quoted to me by one of my grade 4 students. In my experience this is not a usual 8/9 year old idiom. It brought home home to me how much of adult life and its problems my students have to deal with many years before they should. Death, chronic illness, addictions of family and themselves, abandonment, and the list goes on.

I am struggling with how to handle my children being exposed to these things. Fi came home from playing outside with a classmate several days ago saying, "There was a drunker (drunk) in the woods, so we had to get away." Why does my four year old need to know about drunks, and how do I answer her question, "Mama, what does drunk mean?"


It has been a rough week. We were supposed to move to new housing today. Last night we were all packed (as LK and I like to be; duckies in a row and all) and got our key from admin. We drove over to the new place after supper to take a little load of things and check it out. They were still working. The baseboards are all ripped off the walls, the baseboards heaters are scattered about the floors, there is no water, only half the place is painted, and the kitchen is covered with 7 years' worth of dust and grime. We were somewhat discouraged.


After some recovery time and talking it out, I called the Director of Education and explained my reluctance to move my family in when the house is clearly not ready. She was okay with that and we will wait until the work is finished and the cleaners have been through. Problem solved at that end. Now we lived in a small apartment with everything packed in boxes (except the clothes we kept out for three days and 3 bowls, spoons, plates, and 1 pot) for a while (which is my new phrase for 'who knows how long'). Last night was my lowest point.


So I called my Mom. What else do you do when you need a motherly shoulder to cry on. She said, "You guys are doing so well." in response to my tears. She is not unloving, but she is able to see the big picture better than I. Big picture, we are not homeless, unemployed, separating, in danger, or hungry. We are simply frustrated, tired, and people-sick for the family and friends that feel a long way away right now. Those we will get over.


So, we just keep swimming. And when we are too tired to swim any more today, we curl up in each others' arms and go to sleep. God can carry it all until morning.