Worry

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;

or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food,

and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air;

they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. 

Are you not much more valuable than they? 

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" 

Matthew 6:25-26

I worry endlessly about the future; will my kids be okay, will I have a job, will we have a home, where will be put down roots, will we be far from family always?  And then there are the big questions and worries; have we slipped off the knife's edge in climate change, will there be a future for my children, will First Nations and the rest of Canada ever be at peace with one another?  And silly selfish worries; will my husband still love me, will my colleagues still respect me, will my parents still be proud of me? 

For much of my life I have escaped from the demands of the present and my worries about the future into the world of fiction.  It has provided a place where everything ends happily and I know that there will be resolution.  Bad guys get what they deserve.  Good guys are rewarded with some kind of happily ever after.  But that just isn't how it works in this broken world.

How do I let go of anxiety and fear and trust that I am far more precious to my Heavenly Father than the birds of the air. How do I relax into the protection of His hand, at peace with His provision?

First I remind myself constantly that He has never let me down before.  He has always been faithful.  In the story if God and his people He has consistently kept his promises and provided.  After thousands of years of faithfulness, do I really need to worry that he will suddenly stop now?

Second, I will watch the birds as they gather around the lakes in greater numbers after the winter.  Eagles rebuilding nests damaged in winter snow.  Ducks chasing away competition as they search for spots to lay eggs.  Woodpeckers drilling holes in telephone poles. Robins hopping across the lawn looking for the juiciest worm.   I will remind myself with each one that I am more precious to Him than any of these.  He will provide for my needs.