Looking for Waldo

I'm Baaack

2012-02-14T12:39:00.000-06:00

Jo has been counting down sleeps until Valentine's Day for over a week. Last night after supper the Sprouts and I sat around the table and made Valentine's for their classes.

Jo had requested store-bought and they had to be Mighty Machines or Transformers. So his were easy to label. We had to go by his memory for his classmates' names as teachers at our school don't send class lists home to help students label their Valentine's. We did pretty well, and I was impressed with how many students in his class he remembers.

Fi's were a little trickier. She had insisted that she was going to make her own homemade ones. But she didn't start until six o'clock last night. So, there were a few tears as she worked through the challenges. However, she ended up with a bag ready to go before she went to bed.

As a teacher I have always encouraged my students to give valentines to either everyone in the class or all the boys/girls. That way no one feels like Charlie Brown and ends up with no cards. For many years it worked well.

This year I saw the other side of the coin as Fi was struggling with giving a valentine to someone who is often unkind to her. How do I insist that my child extend that kindness to someone who repeatedly shows a lack of respect to her? I need to teach her that loving others means even when they are mean, annoying, or just plain miserable. But it isn't easy watching her take the risk of having it smushed in her face (metaphorically).

As I write this I am humbled by how hard this walk is. I am not even close to capable of the love and compassion needed to meet the needs of the people around me. Only when I count on the love poured out by Christ can my love overflow out to others. And lately I have been pretty stingy with that love.

Sigh

2012-01-24T12:38:00.001-06:00

For years I have been reading American teachers blogging about the testing madness that has gripped American education for the last decade. I have waited with concern for when that madness would cross the border. It's here.Sigh.

Missing Papa

2012-01-22T20:35:00.000-06:00

As we left the airport today Jo piped up from the back seat, "Are we leaving Papa at the airport?"

"Yes, sweetie. He is flying on a plane to be with Oma and Opa for Grandma D's funeral."

"Oh."

Ten minutes later we were in the middle of the city and I was stressing about the check engine light that came on as we left the airport. And I missed my turn-off and wasn't quite sure if I was heading in the right direction (having no co-pilot to read the map).

"I want to go with Papa." said a sad little voice from the backseat.

"I do too." was all I could say.

Halfway home we were all doing okay, I thought. No breakdowns - either the car or in tears.

With a hitch in his voice and tears welling up, "I miss Papa."

"Me too, sweetie. Me too."

We arrived safely home, unloaded the car, loaded the washing machine and started to unwind.

"I miss Papa!" was sobbed from upstairs as Jo tried to clean up his toys before supper.

I have new appreciation for my life. I get to spend every day with my partner and best friend. We commute to work together, support each other as colleagues, and have rich time every morning and evening as a family. We actually get to eat two whole meals a day together as a family, every day!

I am so grateful. We are very rich indeed.

Resolution Update

2012-01-13T12:24:00.002-06:00

Well writing down everything that goes into your mouth is certainly very revealing. It is already making a substantial difference in how much I eat every day. This is a great exercise. I highly recommend it if you are struggling with eating at all.

The biggest change that has happened in my eating habits over the first two weeks of the month is that I am no longer snacking in the evening after the Sprouts have gone to bed. That was my crashing and noshing time previously - particularly during the holidays when there were yummy treats available in the house all the time. As a result I have felt more energy in the mornings and am really hungry for breakfast. Both good things.

I am not doing quite so well with the phone calls. I think that I will amend my goals to two phone calls a month rather than weekly. Small steps...

There's an App for That!

2012-01-13T12:15:00.001-06:00

The littlest Sprout has been bumped from JK to SK. Overall this is a good change for him. But there are sad aspects to it, as with all change. Socially it is a good shift. He is also ready to read, so he will continue to be challenged to stretch and grow there.

One thing that we are concerned about is his handwriting. Four year old hands are not always ready for the demands of five year old curriculum. So we have started to work on fine motor skills with him at home.

Thanks to a great PD last year, I have an arsenal of tools from Handwriting Without Tears to support him in this. so tonight we started working together.HWT is a fabulous program to develop neat, well formed handwriting in children. It also has lots of fun activities to make the learning fun, particularly for the littlest learners. One example is using slates to practice letters in a large size before transferring skills to the smaller scale of paper.

I ran into a little problem when we had no chalk at home for the mini slate. But fear not, there's an app for that! A lovely little app called Slate works beautifully with just fingers. Jo was thrilled and very interested in practicing if it included the iPad.

Date Night

2012-01-07T09:52:00.000-06:00

Heaven is date night.

Living in the middle of nowhere with no family for many kilometres means that leaving Sprouts with a grandparent for a few hours to have a date or run errands has been outside our experience for all our Sprouts' lives (with the exception of visits). Now Nana and Pop lie just down the road and they kept the Sprouts yesterday afternoon while LK and I went to town, did groceries etc. and had a date. BLISS!

After the necessary groceries and errands were done we ate at the Southview Inn & Bistro, which was new to us. It has been on our list of place to check out, but is not on the child-friendly side of the list, and so has languished untasted. No more.

We started with a bread plate. Crusty bread with oil and vinegar, hummus, and roasted garlic for tempting the palate. I added a creamy chocolatini to that. My new favourite bevvy (better than Bailey's) that requires lots of water to balance the kick it carries.

The soup course was chicken with wild rice (wild rice being a local delicacy). No can compares to homemade soups. We both "mmmm"ed our way through the soup with smiles growing ever wider as we sunk into the quiet and pleasure of the meal. No asking people to stay at the table. No reminding people that there would be no dessert if they didn't eat their dinner. No interruptions to our conversation before even a sentence was out.

The main course was a stuffed tenderloin with a fig reduction and roasted seasonal vegetables served over a mountain of garlic mashed potatoes. A wintery food hug. Zucchini, red peppers and sweet potato have long been under-appreciated and should be lauded for their gorgeous colours as well as the variety of nutrients hiding inside. And what can be said about garlic mashed potatoes? These were even better than LK's version; and his are incredible. The tenderloin was a rich mash of earthy flavours that matched the rest of the plate beautifully.

We shared a slice of chocolate cake for dessert since we were both really enjoying ourselves so much and couldn't bear to end the meal quite yet. And really, every meal should end with chocolate.

I walked away from the meal feeling sated physically and spiritually. That kind of a meal should be a regular part of live to help me remember to appreciate what good ingredients and relaxed enjoyable company make. Because this date made real that food and love are one.

Yard Duty Sunshine

2012-01-03T21:47:00.001-06:00

Yard duty has not always been my favourite part of teaching. When the weather is nasty and cold, or I have a To Do list as long as my arm I bemoan it. But today it was a wonderful lift.

First, my teaching day was pretty much done. I had my prep at the end of the day, which meant that after recess all I had to do was walk students down to their Native Language class. That took the pressure to urgently accomplish anything off.

Second, the day turned out to be sunny and warm. Well, warm for January in northwestern Ontario. I bundled up before going outside, expecting to be chilled even though I was wearing my puffer coat, a hat, scarf and gloves. This morning was chilly! Instead I stepped outside to sunshine that warmed my face and blue skies. Since blue skies have been scare this past two weeks, it was a sight for sore eyes.

But the icing on the cake was a little boy all dressed in a blue snowsuit who has just moved from JK to SK. The JK students are only allowed to play in the front playground with very careful supervision. The SK students have more freedom to move around the whole elementary schoolyard. This little guy was spreading his wings for the first time today. When he saw me on duty he smiled a very special smile (reserved only for his Mama) and ran full-tilt at me. I caught him and swung him around in a great big hug. Then he wandered off to play with his new SK classmates.

What a treat to be able to watch my own kids play with their peers as they grow up. Plus I made some new SK friends myself today who were most curious about my relationship with their new classmate.

"Are you Jo's mommy?" they queried repeatedly.

"Yes I am," I replied, proud as punch.

Resolution Ammendments

2012-01-02T22:14:00.000-06:00

I have already been reflecting on how to ensure that I suceed in my resolutions (chronic achiever that I am). Many many bloggers post resolutions. In exploring some of these I have realized that my resolutions are not SMART. I have learned that mine are far too vague to be achievable goals. So, I will set a habit to support each resolution each month, a la Gretchin Rubin in her book The Happiness Project.

With the goal of eating healthier in mind, I am planning to keep a food journal for the month of January. This will, I hope, enable me to be more mindful of what I eat. And I will be able to see just how crazy-too-much chocolate I really eat. It should be revealing to say the least.

With my relationship goal in mind I will make a phone call to someone who is not in my daily life once a week to stay more in touch.

Fingers crossed!

Year's End Reflections

2011-12-31T17:49:00.000-06:00

Well another year has passed. I am a year older, a little wiser, and looking back on this past year with more regret than I usually do. In fact, I rarely look back and linger over regrets. But this holiday has been bittersweet and has pushed me towards melancholic thoughts.

It was deliciously sweet to spend time with my sisters. I haven't seen them in a year and a half. A YEAR AND A HALF, that is a long time. Reconnecting has been lovely. We all are aging and learning to give one another more space to be ourselves, make choices that work for our own lives, and appreciate the good in one another with a lot less judgement. It makes for really wonderful time together.Plus we didn't have lots of plans made, so we were able to just go with the flow and enjoy each day for the activities we have felt like doing as each day unfolded.

On the flip side it was very difficult to discover that a neighbor, who was also our boss, died over the holidays in his house next door. My parents and LK and I hemmed and hawed about the lack of activity in the house for several days, trying not to be nosy and over-protective neighbors before calling the police to ask someone to check on him. Unfortunately it was too late and the past several days have been filled with dealing with that situation.

So how do those lead me into regrets? Well, seeing someone die completely alone made me reflect on the relationships that I have not put enough work into this year. I have had all sorts of reasons, but really I wish that I had taken more time to focus on people and building connections with loved ones. I think that is a regret that is resolution-worthy.

So, my first resolution (in many many years) is to put more time and effort into people and less into stuff.

Seeing too many people die in my life (close or peripheral) has made me regret not seizing health with both hands. I have worked really hard to build a solid base of fitness. I have held onto a foundation of that by running into December this year. I am proud of that, but regret not carrying all that work over into food as well. I eat what I want... and that usually involves way too much sugar.

So my second resolution is to change my eating habits to enable my body to live a longer, happier, stronger life with those people that are part of resolution number one.

How about you? How do you want to make 2012 better than 2011?

Auntie H

2011-12-27T11:21:00.001-06:00

Well, the big day is done and the roller coaster of emotions that swirls around the holidays is settling down. Despite a few bumps in the road, I think that we have enjoyed a really relaxed holiday this year. And I am very thankful.We toned the "stuff" this year. We requested that extended family (other than grandparents) take us off their gift lists. We streamlined our own gift giving too. In the end it was more pleasant and helped us keep our focus on what is important this time of year; time together. I have been deeply thankful for the visit we have been enjoying with my baby sister. It has been a year and a half since we have spent time together in person. For LK and I that is a long time. For the Sprouts that is forever. They had a chance to get reacquainted with a champion auntie and have had a fabulous week. Right now when Jo finishes breakfast the first question out of his mouth is, "Can I call Auntie Hether over?"So we will revel in our lt day with Auntie H before she boards the train for the south once again.

Monday, Monday

2011-12-19T19:38:00.001-06:00

We have all (Sprouts and grown ups alike) been striving to finish the last two weeks before the holidays strong. We made it. We are now officially on holidays. My DH pointed out no less than three times yesterday that today was to be Monday... And we didn't have to go to school. He said it with such glee in his voice each time. He really is in need of some down-time!At ten-thirty this morning he pointed out, "It's recess.". Big smile on his face.

Brrrr

2011-12-05T12:42:00.001-06:00

The cold is here. We went to bed last night to temperatures dropping so fast that we could feel it through the windows and curtains as a very faint chilly breeze. BRRRR! I love my feather duvet.

This morning we woke up to a very cranky car (who may have appreciated being plugged in last night, had I remembered). Some of us were snug in our beds too late (not my DH of course, he is up at the crack of dawn come hell or high water). Thank goodness for DH's internal body clock, as his promptness is the only thing that got us out of the house this morning even close to on time. Plus he made great lunches for everyone (which is my job in the mornings). Have I mentioned what a great guy he is recently?

My internal body clock says its time to hibernate with warm sweaters, hot chocolate, songs around the living room, and a big pile of good books to read.

11 more sleeps until the Christmas holidays!

Advent Anticipation

2011-11-29T12:47:00.001-06:00

This past Saturday was the Santa Claus parade in town. The Sprouts were thrumming with anticipation of the parade and a dinner out to celebrate. We all enjoyed the parade a lot. The weather was unusually warm, so nobody was in danger of frostbite (unlike our first year here). There was a fresh few inches of snow just in time to make the world look ready for the season. There were far more floats and creatively decorated vehicles than in previous years. And the people standing around us were friendly. All in all it was a very fine town parade.

So, the season has officially begun.

Nana has her decorations all up. We have been admiring them every night. Next weekend is the decorating weekend in our household; tree, lights, etc. I am trying to think of creative ways to decorate the outside of the house without lights. Hmmm...

And before we know it the holiday will be here! Two weeks of soaking in family time and breathing deeply. My heart longs for it with deep anticipation.

JUMPing

2011-11-23T12:21:00.001-06:00

We have embarked on a journey into JUMP math in my classroom. A few weeks ago, staff were asked if there were any volunteers to pilot a new math program. And I got to participate.

There are two of us doing the pilot on our staff, so I have a partner to wrestle over challenges with (very helpful when trying something new). I also had a buddy with me for training on the weekend.

Four of us (the math coordinator, the math coach, and two teachers) went to the big city for two days learning about JUMP Math. For information about the program you can hop over here. I will leave you to that yourself if you are interested (just so you know, I think it is fabulous so far).

On Monday we both dove in with two feet.

The first day was crazy and noisy. BUT I had a student who tests out at an early first grade level for math multiplying independently!

The second day was also noisy. We had the math coach and the math coordinator in and out of the room during the lesson offering support for students. It was helpful, but the bodies moving in and out was also distracting. Overall, day two was better than day one. AND I saw another student who really struggles (and has been withdrawn for Resource full-time from math) multiplying accurately independently!

Today we waded into reading and drawing fractions. AND they all did it beautifully. They even drew thirds in a circle accurately (better then mine usually are) on the first try.

If this is any indication of how well laid out the instruction is going to be, I see all of my students succeeding in math this year. What an awesome thing that will be.

Broken

2011-11-14T12:48:00.001-06:00

FYI, Kindles don't like to be dropped.

I tried to carry a basket of laundry, a pile of books that were going away, my Kindle, and hold my son's hand (because he was feeling needy). The Kindle slipped out of my hands and to the floor.

Not thinking much of it, I kept walking to finish the rest of the tasks in hand.

When I made it back to pick up my Kindle it looked like this....

I cried. It is unreadable; I tried to half an hour and then gave up forlornly. I had nothing to read. It felt, for a brief moment, like life was over (I know, such a drama queen).

Then Monday I came home from my PD in town. LK, the ultimate husband in the universe, greeted my with, "Your new Kindle is on its way."

Really, what more could a woman ask for?

Birthday Blues

2011-11-14T12:36:00.001-06:00

My dearest Sproutlette turned eight last week. She was excited to have a celebration with friends - no little brothers to bother them, and to stay up late for that celebration. The time with friends was great. JK was distracted by Nana for a bit after school, then his Papa kept him busy and out of the girls' hair with a new Lego to build together (major bonding time for them).

Fi had four hours of time where she was pampered with two friends. She was very happy.

So, where do the blues come in?

At bedtime I was combing out her hair to tie up for bed. Guess who was back?

Grrrrr!

Half an hour of painstaking combing and squishing later she was sent to bed. And she got to dream about the fun of having her head treated again the next day instead of focusing on getting her ears pierced (which she had requested for her birthday).

Saturday morning she and I fluffed and puffed and got ready for a mother-daughter day in town (with a visit to the drug store added to the list). We arrived at the aesthetician first thing, planning to make a piercing appointment and then do the other errands. There was a slot so we went right in.

Forty-five minutes later we left. No earrings. Fi was in tears. I was trying not to cry as well. Both of us were frustrated. Fi had second thoughts, then third... then tenth thoughts in the salon and we never got far enough to get beyond black marker dots on her ear lobes. Not a great start to the day.

It felt like her birthday was a bust. There went her present and our bonding time together. Because, face it, groceries is really not a bonding activity. We did have a nice lunch out, though, so all was not lost.

The week has perked up since then. And we have decided that we will wait another year (or three) for earrings. Now to find a great late present...

Starving

2011-11-12T19:46:00.001-06:00

After a week of adjusting to the time change - I have no idea why it takes them so long - the kids finally slept to a decent hour on Friday morning. Earlier this week Fi was up at 3:15! Crazy!!

Friday morning Jo announced to the world that he was awake with, "I need breakfast. I am STARVING!"

Running Club

2011-11-10T12:26:00.001-06:00

Last week on my Tuesday afternoon run home from work I picked up three buddies halfway home. They were four-legged buddies who appeared thrilled to have someone talking to them and stopping to pet them. As a result I had a three-dog escort almost all the way home. They were scared off by the fiercely territorial dogs at a particular house at the Mission (neighbourhood).

Thursday I ran home again (trying to stay fit over the winter this year). Again my same buddies picked me up for an escort home. This time the local nurse drove by. Thinking I was being mobbed, she wanted to help. She dumped a Ziploc bag filled with dog food out the car window as she shouted, |Here, let me help!| She stopped and chatted for a few minutes while the dogs ate. This time they stuck with me through the fierce dogs and came all the way home. We could hear them running around late into the night. I lay there feeling bad that they were outside in the cold instead of home in their own households (although most dogs around here are outside dogs, and they probably didn#t have a warm bed waiting). I still felt bad.

Then, when LK ran home on Friday he was the honoured recipient of the four-legged escort (although I am not sure he quite felt honoured).

This week Tuesday they were waiting. And this time they were determined to stick to me like glue - one literally running at my heels 90% of the way. The escort is starting to feel a bit claustrophobic, with dogs crowding my heels. And I feel bad about bringing them far from home so often. Plus, I am starting to think that either I have a latent dog-piper gene, or that that lovely, kind intention of the nurse to rescue me actually made the dogs think that I was going to be a food source.

But the biggest up-side is that instead of talking to myself all the way home, and looking a wee bit crazy. Now I have someone to talk to, which makes me look a bit more sane (I hope).

More Catching Up

2011-11-10T12:12:00.001-06:00

I know it has been forever. I am sorry. The Internet at home is back to SLOWER THAN DIAL-UP, which is an exercise in frustration every single time I go online. As a result, I have done only the bare necessities of online stuff at home for the past week and a half. Blogging just hasn't gotten high enough on the priority list.

So, the next few days are a little less busy (report cards done and handed in) and there will be some time to catch up.

But for the first catch up post...

Trick or Treat

2011-10-31T20:13:00.000-05:00

In the car on the way to school this morning Fi piped up from the back seat, "Its too bad that Halloween isn't more than once a year."

She was thrilled to be able to wear a costume outside the house (as were a number of adults at school from the grinning faces). She was excited about fun activities instead of hard schoolwork. Particularly she was excited about trick or treating tonight.

A short forty-five minutes and she was tuckered out and smiling big enough to crack her cheeks. And she made a point of asking for an extra for her brother when she was at his teacher's house.

When we got home, the Little Sprout (who helped Papa man the door at the house) sighed dramatically, "I wish I went with you."

Next year, little man. Next year.

Family Dinner

2011-10-26T21:24:00.000-05:00

LK's class has taken on the fundraising opportunity of cooking for the school board meetings this year. It is a chance for my spouse to share his love of cooking with his students and raise money for their end-of-year field trip. Definitely win-win.

Due to a death in the community, the meeting that was scheduled for this evening has been post phoned. And we were left with a great big meal for eight in the fridge and only four of us. So, a quick holler down the road and we had dinner with Nana and Pop.

Last week Nana was the one hollering when she saw the we were done after a few really long days at school. And we gathered around her dining room table.

In the middle of dinner the Sprouts were chatting about this and that. Pop was listening and teasing with a twinkle in his eye. Nana was sharing news from her day and extended family (she is my news source for the whole family for me). My spouse was playing off Pop's teasing. And I sat back (with the most yummy flavours in my mouth) and breathed in the happiness of it all.

There are moments in my life that seem to slow down, just like in the movies, and give me the chance to really appreciate the joy or beauty that they contain. I wish I could store up all this joy and sprinkle it over the whole world like fairy dust.

Yo-yo

2011-10-25T12:55:00.001-05:00

Some days are up and some days are down. Yesterday was up and down like a yo-yo.

Sunday night was void of sleep because the little Sprout was up coughing for hours. Yesterday; yo-yo chaos at school, and I reacted all day rather than dealing with the day proactively. When I got up this morning still tired (more coughing last night) and the big Sprout was just bawling about her sore throat at breakfast I was expecting another yo-yo day today. I was ready to stay home with her myself to avoid the yo-yo.

Instead we phoned Super-Nana and she swooped in to save the day (I love having my own personal superhero next door - everyone should have one). With the Sprout tucked back into bed and lots of OJ in the fridge we headed off to work.

Surprise, it has been a remarkably good day. I am not less tired. My students had more %&&*#^@ high stakes testing to deal with (a subject for another time). So what is it that tips a day from learning-chaos into just random chaos? Is it me? Is it my students? Both, I imagine. But what can I do to help keep us in the learning end of the continuum?

After all I am the grown up and the buck stops here for the responsibility for learning.

Spinning

2011-10-18T21:01:00.001-05:00

My head has been absolutely spinning with ideas and issues and questions and turmoil for the past several weeks. Sitting down to actually formulate coherent thoughts into a decently written blog post has been attempted and aborted multiple times. I just can't sort out my thoughts enough to narrow a topic and craft ideas to share it. It is all a big jumble in my head.

I think that the stress of that jumble is starting to leak.

If it wasn't dark and snowing I think the best thing would be to go for a run right now.

However, it is dark and snowing. So I think that I will go find cosy jammies and my Kindle for a bit before bed.

Tomorrow is another day, with no mistakes in it (yet).

A Research Project

2011-10-09T14:37:00.002-05:00

Well the time has come for some thinking ahead. Not that we are ready to pack our bags! Far from it. However, as we think about the future, some changes require more advance preparation than others.

Our next change may be several years ahead... or not. It is in God's hands, not mine.

However, it is time to start thinking about whether or not to pursue my interest in teacher training. Since I have moved here, I have hosted teacher candidates in my classroom and mentored several teachers. I have really enjoyed both. In fact, they are probably my favourite projects in my teaching career (outside daily classroom activities). So, they might just be a good direction for my next professional learning focus.

I explored options for a Masters of Education a year and a half ago, but found that there were no Canadian universities that offered on online masters. Since commuting isn't an option now I put the idea on hold. There are a gagillion American ones that do, but an American masters just doesn't have the academic weight that a Canadian one does. And I want to leave the door open for a PhD down the road if teaching teachers is the final destination...

So, I was delighted to hear from a colleague that she is looking at her masters through the university of Calgary. All courses available online (no, we won't be moving to Calgary). Hmmm...

Let the research begin.

Bugs 1: Me 0

2011-10-07T20:33:00.000-05:00

So the bugs won this week. Jo got sent home with a note about bugs (lice!!) on Wednesday. I was told two minutes after my lunch break was over that I was to take him home right away. Growling, I complied. Then I spent Wednesday night doing the bedding wash/head scrub that any parent who has had experience with the critters knows. I was doubly frustrated because I couldn't find one bug on his head. Nary one!

Now I am a bit uptight (okay, a lot), but I was doubly cranky due to feeling miserable myself. All I wanted to do Wednesday night was crawl into bed with a litre of hot lemon and honey. Instead I did laundry and comb invisible critters out of my son's hair.

For the record I am not saying that there were no bugs. It is quite possible that there were. I just couldn't find them. And I know that they love to share themselves among people in classrooms where student heads are often close together. I am actually quite amazed that this is the first time that we have had to deal with them. (Amazed that after 15 years I haven't had them).

Anyhoo, the plan was that I would take a day, as I was feeling miserable with a cold, and have the little man's head cleared by the nurse at the clinic. Unfortunately life doesn't always go according to plan.

I woke up Thursday morning feeling beyond awful. I barely heard LK head off to school. Fortunately the Sprouts slept until 8:30 (actually the noisy Sprout slept until 8:30, the other one was quietly downstairs reading and eating breakfast with her father before 7). Anyway, I got a wonderful 11 hours of sleep. Up to make sure Sprouts had some breakfast (I hadn't heard Fi before 8:30). Back to bed.

As the only adult in the house I did my best to stay awake and in charge. I didn't do very well at it. Thank heavens for Nana! She checked in on the kids, made them lunch, and was a complete guardian angel.

At 2:30 I dragged myself out of bed, planning to drive over to the clinic and do the head check with the nurse. Unfortunately LK had the little man's health card in his wallet at school. And as the world was very wobbly around me I wasn't sure if it was a good plan to get behind the wheel. So back to bed.

And then after school my sweetie snuggled up with me (figuratively since he didn't want to share my germs) and shared about his day. He handled everything and let me sleep. And he didn't even complain when I woke up just in time to kiss Sprouts goodnight and then curl up in front the tv for an hour. Then it was back to bed.

However, when I chose to go into work today rather than go and get the required sick-note (necessary if you miss more than one consecutive day of work) from the nurse he was less than happy. He grumbled about how tired I look and how awful I sound - not usually words I love to hear, but he was worried.

When I am sick it is really hard to take more than a day away from school. A big part of me says, "Cold, shmold, you are tougher than that! If you can stand up you can teach."

Another part of me says, "It is twice as much work to get organized for a sub and they already had a sub for a day. You might as well just grit your teeth and get through the day."

Plus I have this fear that I am not as sick as I feel and that the nurse will laugh at me and tell me that I am fine. Stop being a wimp and get your lazy butt to work!

What I am not really hearing over those voices is my husband (who loves me and wants me to be okay) who is saying, "You are not healthy. Stay home and get healthy. Your family needs you more than your students or pride do."

And he is right. There is a time to just let go of everything else.

So, I should have stayed home today. And I should have drank another gallon of orange juice.

Hindsight 20/20.

Update (About Time, Too)

2011-09-26T19:26:00.001-05:00

For some reason this September feels like we just moved here and are dealing with the learning curve all over again. So many changes at school with new staff and new 'stuff' (resources/programs/ assessments up the whazoo). And on top of it, there are some nasty germs moved into our house. LK is sick with an unpleasant stomache flu. The Sprouts have been coughing that loud rattley cough all night for a week. Blech!

On the bright side, the road to town, which has been under construction all summer, is finished. Hooray! Now I don't dread the drive into town. We have been avoiding any non-essential trips to town at all costs for the past two months. It has made for an isolated time. We have felt the remoteness of where we live quite keenly.

Losing the Battle

2011-09-18T13:03:00.002-05:00

The Terry Fox Run was run this morning all across Canada. On the 28th our school will join schools across the country to run in what has become a Canadian annual statement of hope. I don't have many heroes, but Terry Fox definitely qualifies as one for me. His determination and fierce defiance of the odds can teach all of us a huge lesson about changing the world.

The battle against cancer has never been personal for me. I know people who have battled cancer. We all do. But it hasn't been personal.

Now it is. And this year the run means much more to me.

I have an uncle who has battled cancer for over a year now. He was recently told that he is losing the battle. Since then my parents, aunts, and sisters have been working hard to provide the support he needs to end his time on earth in peace and with dignity. The heaviest load has fallen on my youngest sister, who is able to get along with anyone, loves to serve others, and has stamina to make a marathoner blush. It has been a hard time for my parents as the news about the cancer winning the battle came just shortly after they moved up here, 2,000km away from said uncle.

Now it seems that the final days are here and my folks need to say goodbye. So, they are working to organize their time down south to enjoy a last few days with my uncle. Prayers would be much appreciated that this visit would be a rich blessing not only for my uncle, but also for all those who are close to him and who are saying goodbye.

And if you ran today, or are running with your students or class on the 28th... please think of those who had to fight the battle before Terry's dream came true and cancer is no longer the victor. And if you can only support this dream through making a financial donation, please be generous. Only with all Canadians striving together can Terry's dream come true.

Taking the Plunge

2011-09-10T15:43:00.002-05:00

For more than five years now I have wanted to take the plunge and step outside my conservative pearls and French twist fashion identity with something substantial. Not that pearls and a French twist are bad. I just have been ready for a change.

Both body piercings and tattoos have been issues of interest for me since I was in my teens, but both were somewhat taboo as I grew up. My parents were never big fans. They never out and out banned either, but there were discussions about the permanence; what will that tattoo look like on saggy 70-year old shoulders rather than on svelte 20-year old shoulders. What is the health impact of that ink permanently inserted into your body? Will a body piercing be limiting to career choices? Will I hate it and be stuck with a hole in my nose/lip/eyebrow? Plus there were discussions about whether tattoos and body piercings were honouring our bodies as images of God (no clear answer in those discussions, just lots of questions, opinions and discussion).

In the past five years I have observed the impact of multiculturalism on both piercings and tattoos. Both are increasingly visible in Canadian women. My favourite is the nose stud that Indian women often sport. They are timeless and regal. But often those wearing them are young or in careers that are less conservative than mine. So I have restrained my impulses thinking that I was too old and in a job where it would be offensive.

However, this past year I have met two women in education with nose piercings. And then two weeks ago I ran into a lady leaving a coffee shop in town who was most definitely older than me. She had a nose piercing. It looked great on her face. I stopped her and asked about it. She has had it for 10 years and never regretted it.

So, today in town I took the plunge. I am the proud new owner of a little sparkler in my nose. And you know what? I think that it will look great with a French twist and a fab pair of heels. I might lose the pearls permanently, though.

Opening Celebrations

2011-09-08T19:50:00.003-05:00

The opening powwow and feast are a celebration of a new school year. Each year they are a bit different. This year was the very best emotional tone for me of all those we have attended here.

I was proud of my class's behavior today. Although it was very hard for my antsy boys to be quiet and respectful while an elder opened, they were (for the most part) very quiet and respectful. After being told that they expectation at powwow was dance or watch, they all chose to do one of those. None of them complained or moaned about the heat or wanting to go play outside. And many of them danced.

I was also proud of the young men that participated from the community. Two high school students participated in the dancing as role models for the younger ones. They lead specials and called dancers in for other specials. Two others were a part of the drumming group leading the dancing. Many high school students served food carefully and faithfully, serving elders first with quiet deference.

I was really glad to be able to share the beauty of this amazing place and people today. I am richly blessed because of them.

A Lift

2011-09-07T19:08:00.002-05:00

After my own class had all run off to catch the bus after school yesterday, one of the girls from my last year's class walked into the room.

"Hi Mrs. K. Can I visit for a few minutes?"

It lifted my spirits.

It was just a short chat with light questions about how she is adjusting to a new grade. It felt really wonderful, though to have a student want to connect for a minute.

I love my job.

Two Pops

2011-09-06T20:46:00.003-05:00

Friday was hot dog day. For Jo is was his first hot dog day. He likes hot dogs, so I packed snacks in his lunch and a toonie for a hot dog and a bag of chips. Instead he came home with a barely opened can of iced tea. After recovering from my conniption over his not purchasing what I wanted him to (let go of those apron strings, Em) I watched him spend the entire afternoon sipping from the can of "pop". He was thrilled that he was actually able to drink "pop". (We don't generally stock it in our pantry).

This morning on the way to school he stated, out of the blue, "There are two pops. Pop the man and pop the can."

LK and I looked at each other, laughed out loud (which pleased Jo to no end), and celebrated his delightful sense of humour.

Pop the man is my dad. We call him Pop (as in Grandpop).

Pop the can... well, you are smart enough to get that one on your own.

The Night Before School

2011-08-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

Twas the night before school and all through the house

Not a teacher was sleeping, not me nor my spouse.

The lessons were all planned, classrooms cleaned with much care

In hopes that our students would soon venture there.

I have no hopes of sleeping anytime soon. Too much excitement, and nerves. Strange to be nervous the first day of school still after so many years. I am glad that I am still nervous because I think it helps me remember how students usually feel.

I have an extra case of nerves tonight because I have so many people on my mind for whom I have great hopes of success;

my Sprouts, one of whom is starting JK

my dad who is leading his first shop class in this setting

my spouse who is meeting a new group of students

my colleagues who are new to the profession

my colleagues who are new to the school and community

my students

myself

So, with all that spinning round in my head (rather than visions of sugarplums) I imagine that sleep will be a few hours off yet. I might as well make good use of the time getting lunches organized and finish setting up my gradebook.

See y'all at school!

It's A Small World

2011-08-25T19:38:00.003-05:00

In the spring we had an adventure on a hike that took us to the train tracks and we got to meet a pair of OPP officers (who kindly informed us that the train tracks are private property). Well, this week I discovered that there is an amazing second part to the story. For the first part check back here.

We were sitting in the staff room, having lunch (a luxury of the week before school starts, that helps us all get to know one another before we dive into the trenches together). The Boss is sitting beside me and shares that our new teacher, Glee Girl, has family in K-town and that they know Laurens and I. The brother is an OPP officer. We looked at each other, a bit confused. The Boss mentions that they know us from Lakeside Church perhaps. More confusion and we wonder if it is a Treaty 3 officer because we don't know any OPP...

When we were sitting at home eating dinner that evening it struck me. The only OPP officers we have met were the ones who taught us not to play on the tracks in the spring. In fact, I thought that one of them mentioned he had a sister who was a high school English teacher in northern Quebec.

My response to his comment back in April was, "Oh, she should apply at Grassy. We are always looking for good teachers. And we will be hiring high school teachers for September as several of ours are leaving."

As it turns out, she had done so a month prior to our meeting her brother. After our meeting over the tracks he told her that there was a nice couple who lived in Grassy. And now she is our colleague.

And, as you can probably tell by her nickname, she is a huge Glee fan. I think this is a great start to a great year.

What a small world!

Pow Wow

2011-08-20T08:13:00.002-05:00

It is pow wow weekend in Grassy. The drums started after dinner last night and were the music we all fell asleep to. They will continue for most of the weekend, and we will hang out at the pow wow grounds watching dancing, participating when we feel brave, and reconnecting with community members that we haven;t seen over the summer.

Last night Fi and I went over to watch the pageant for Princesses and Braves. She spent the evening running around reconnecting with her friends from school, many of whom she hasn't seen for most of the summer. I was delighted to see many students participating in the pageant and rooted for those who have been a part of my classes.

It was wonderful to watch so many students and note how they have grown a little or changed their haircuts. Every summer on pow wow weekend more of a coming home; to the community that is growing roots into us a little bit at a time.

Gearing Up

2011-08-16T21:21:00.004-05:00

Another summer is coming to a close as teachers arrive back (or for their first time) here and start setting up classrooms. Many of the teachers in the elementary wing are already at work in their classrooms, and there are almost two weeks until school starts. That is an encouraging sign to me.

I went in this morning with the intent of getting some more puttering done. I didn't have a to do list or any specific project to get done, just moving forward towards being prepped for the first day.

I ended up spending the whole morning catching up with Running Goddess. You remember her; she was my running partner two years ago. Well, she had an amazing AQ experience this summer and was literally bubbling over with things she was excited about sharing from it. I know this marks me as a complete teacher-geek, but I was so thrilled about her excitement and ideas that I was a bit teary. It was also amazing to get caught up on her life and what she had been doing with herself for the summer (other than lots of learning about teaching). She is in a really good place in her life and her joy shows.

After that the rest of the day was spent puttering, connecting with other teachers and walking a few inches above the floor. The tone in the elementary wing is really positive. I am so hopeful that we will have an amazing year. I would so much appreciate prayer that this will be such a positive growing year for each of the teachers and for each of our students. We are poised on the edge of something incredible (I believe) and the possibilities are mind boggling.

The whole community is gearing up for the pow wow this weekend. There is a buzz of excitement in the air. I know that it may only be the teachers who feel that excitement in connection with the start of a new school year, but it is almost tangible.

So, to all my teacher friends out there, blessings as you gear up for a fresh new year. I hope that it will be filled to overflowing with growth and delight in the privilege of your job.

Wandering on Water

2011-08-06T10:33:00.002-05:00

Over the past four weeks the water levels in our lakes have dropped so fast that you can almost watch it happen. It has been a dry summer, but I don't think that is the only reason the water levels are so low. Whatever the reason, there are all sorts of new things to see along the edges of the lake. The new shoreline has revealed a plethora of interesting objects such as sunken boats and the bases of beaver lodges.

We have been making the most of the lovely evenings this week by taking the canoe out after supper. The Sprouts are becoming better boat passengers, although Jo still can't remember that we stay sitting in a canoe. At some point we will tip due to his wiggling and then he will remember.

Earlier this week we had a huge list of wildlife that we had seen when we arrived home from our paddle. A beaver that lurked around the canoe while we took a close look at his dam; whose entrances were almost a foot above water level. Two families of loons with babies who dove at their parents' warning as we floated close. A mother duck with too many ducklings to keep track of, who scattered as we came closer. She did everything short of stand on her head to distract us from her flock of little ones. And great blue herons who love our lake; we see several every time we are on the water.

Last night there were a few distant loons and a beaver that we heard, but couldn't see. LK brought his camera and sat in the front of the boat trying to take pictures of all the animals that we didn't see; a somewhat frustrating endeavour. Plus he had a pairs of wiggling little ones of our own in the middle of the boat who kept the noise level high enough that critters had lots of warning to get away before he could shoot them.

Perhaps we will leave the Sprouts behind on the next trip so LK can get some good shots of the critters.

"I have blood!"

2011-07-31T09:56:00.003-05:00

"I have blood!" Jo shrieked after a tumble on the driveway last night after supper.

Usually when he falls down he picks himself right up and reports, "I'm okay." before moving on. He is remarkably resilient that way. But when there is blood involved he freaks out completely.

So, two parents hovered over him at the sink trying to rinse out all the grit embedded into his cuts. He must have really hit hard as some of that grit was deeply embedded in the cut. LK had the brilliant idea of distracting him from his distress with Jelly Bellys. There are LK's favourite jelly bean, which we diligently hunt for every time we are in Winners (the best place to find them at a discount). Mouth full of beans, Jo submitted, not very graciously, to having his wounds cleaned somewhat.

With Mr. Men band aids on both palms he was tucked into bed. My last instructions to him were to leave the band aids alone so his boo boos could heal.

This morning he has one happy palm, well on its way to healing, and one cranky palm. The cranky palm has some grit left in the wound and is turning an ugly red. So, although the skin has started to close already, I tried to gently dig around with a needle to open it up and get the rest of the dirt out.

"That is closed already," Jo protested.

Oh, I hate having to make my kids more upset when they are hurt, but that dirt just can't stay in there. So, we sang a song to distract him from the poking. Now he has a fresh band aid and Neosporin slathered on the cut to help it heal. I hope that we got all the dirt this time.

The poor boy has new instructions this morning, "Stay out of the dirt today." Yeah, right. Like that will happen.

Fresh Breezes

2011-07-21T17:32:00.003-05:00

Right after Oma and Opa spent a sweltering week with us the weather shifted and thundershowers and strong breezes have been blowing gorgeous weather across the skies for the past 24 hours. We spent the afternoon outside. Now I have several nasty sets of suburn lines. Why can't I remember to put sunscreen on properly? Perhaps it is time to invent a sunscreen prayer - like those tanning booths...

We also have been getting the COW (Cabin on Wheels) ready for camping. The Sprouts are thrilled to have it set up and are making the most of the extra play space.

"Mama, I am having some quiet reading time," wafted from the interior last time I stepped out onto the deck. Ah, sweet summer.

Soaking Up Family-shine

2011-07-19T09:22:00.005-05:00

We have had a lovely visit with Oma and Opa. We celebrated birthdays, lazed in the sun, explored some of the sights of Grassy, Kenora and Winnipeg, and did a little home improvement. A perfect family visit in my book.

I love living here and am very content with where God has us right now. I think that one of the few things that I struggle with is the distance from our families. The last few days of a visit is hard because we are trying to soak up enough grandparent energy and time to last a year (without sucking them dry). And the prospect of going whole year before getting another dose is a bit of a downer. But, with all the amazing blessings in our lives, who can really complain for long. We have two sets of grandparents who love us very much and make big sacrifices to spend time with us. What more could we possibly ask for?

As we say goodbye for another year (oh that is not so fun to write) I am glad that the Sprouts have more happy memories to cherish, and some pictures (thanks Papa) to help them remember. I hope that we will be able to welcome Oma and Opa back again, as it has been wonderful to have them in our home.

Aaaand Here's Nana & Pop!! Nana? Pop?

2011-07-12T08:33:00.005-05:00

My parents embrace life's challenges with gusto and celebrate its joys with verve. Their current move from their little log cabin in Muskoka to join us teaching here in the bush for a year is a pretty good example of facing challenges with gusto (or at least remarkable grace).

They were due to arrive here three days ago. On Wednesday we got a call saying that they were bumping the move a day so they could finish up a few last projects around the house. They are the ultimate DIYers (they have built most of the homes we lived in when I was growing up), so that meant projects like finishing flooring, trim, or staining the exterior.

That postponement was not much of a surprise to me, having lived through several Dix-style moves. Although vague, the memories are flooding back to me now. However, my husband and kids have not experiences that style of move. We are in the middle movers, rent a van, and then do the rest yourself and with friend/family labour. It has worked out pretty well. No one in my immediate family has ever done the pay packers/movers to get your stuff from A to B; we just all have other priorities for the amount of money/debt that would mean (like eating for the next sixth months after the move).

Anyway, one day postponement turned into two as the trailer they were moving all their essentials in was overloaded and needed to be repacked (with the heaviest stuff left behind). Much debate ensued regarding the wisdom of just renting a van (I voted for that one) or trimming the baggage down (that one won).

They were safely off Sunday morning with a message left on our machine saying, "See you in two days."

So last night we waited and watched the road, excited to see them (and the grownups anxious for them to be safe and sound). Instead there was a phone call.

They are stuck in T Bay. The car broke down over Lake Superior and they had a vast tow to the nearest dealership (the downside of driving a Subaru is the few dealerships). I was really impressed with how calm my mom was on the phone; two dogs and a cat in a hotel room in a strange city with a broken down car after sitting at the side of the road waiting for help for five and a half hours. I would be sobbing in a puddle on the floor. But my mom was level and sounded incredibly peaceful. She is one amazing woman!

I am praying that the car just needs a hose replaced and the that can be done in a short while this morning. But I am fearing that they will be stranded in the city for several days.

I have a fresh appreciation for the worry that my parents went through when my sisters and I left home for the first time and they were not sure We would be able to stand on our own two feet. I know that my parents can (stand on their own two feet), they have done so with remarkable grace for my whole life, I just wish that things would go smoothly for them, just this once.

And I am struggling with wanting to jump in my car and drive to rescue them. I know that won't be any help at this point, but it is what my heart is telling me to do instead of this useless waiting.

Prayers for their safe arrival would be appreciated.

Bear Scare

2011-07-09T16:12:00.000-05:00

We were just finishing up supper and getting ready to clear the table when there was a knock on the front door. We knew it wasn't a friend, as all our friends know that we use the side door. So, curious, we went to answer it.

Two men stood on the front porch, huffing and puffing as if they had just been chased by our mama bear. But she was nowhere to be seen. There was also no car in sight. From their sunburnt skin and American accents, they were obviously not locals. Why would a pair of retired white guys be knocking on our door 80km from the nearest town without a car at dinnertime?

"Is this where the police still live?" they puffed.

"No, Treaty 3 Police have their office about 2km away. Can we help?" I answered.

As it turned out they were fishermen who have a cabin up the lake. They were huffing and puffing because they had climbed the hill from the lake (that explains why we didn't hear a car pull up). They had a problem with a bear at their cabin and needed help.

They had come back to camp after fishing for the day to find a bear in the cabin. The bear was not the least bit concerned that the cabin occupants were not looking for company, and was reluctant to move along. The next day the bear was back again. Again it was unconcerned about the humans who seemed to think it was unwelcome. After two visits in two days, the fishermen were looking for a solution.

After several phone calls to various police (jurisdiction issues???) the men had a solution; the Treaty 3 officer that was coming up today to join the group for fishing would bring his gun. If the bear dropped in uninvited again, well, it would be dinner.

Refusing offers of a beverage, off they went down the hill to launch back to camp. Today LK and I are both wondering what happened to the bear.

No Caffeine After 4 O'Clock!

2011-07-06T08:38:00.004-05:00

I made the mistake of having a Coke with our take-out dinner last night (yes, we have take-out in GN; the chip truck). It was delicious after working all day. But the cost was lying in bed awake until after 2am. By lunchtime I anticipate a serious case of the grouchies. I hope that if I drink enough water and inject some caffeine directly into my veins it will all be okay.

Almost everything is set back to rights after finishing the painting yesterday. I am happier with the colour every time I walk into the room, and that is great as I started happy and am growing to adore it. However, I still have two plants with no home, a bathroom light cover that has lost its screw, no curtains, and no art on the walls.

While laying in bed I pondered the possibilities for the plants, art, and window treatments. Ideas, but no solutions. We shall see what today brings in terms of inspiration.

Dropping a Few Pounds

2011-06-30T20:42:00.002-05:00

We collectively lost about 100 pounds today. Not of body weight, but stuff. LK and I spent the majority of the day purging the shed, laundry room and the storage closet. My we gather a lot of odds and ends in three years!

We have been holding onto a recalled crib (that won't be needed again in our house) and a broken piano (that we were holding onto for sentimental reasons - as we can't play the thing anymore). In the house were various small items that I bought thinking that they would somehow improve our lives, and of course, they didn't. So off they go to new homes.

LK loaded the car up with the items that were going to the dump, and I had the joyful task of taking it to the dump. Jo wanted to go with me so he could count bears, but we needed to put the seats down in order to fit big stuff in (I love my Subaru), so no passengers allowed.

At the dump I was greeted by three large adult bears. One was so delighted that I brought fresh garbage that he ambled up to the car sniffing the air. He looked like a restaurant customer anticipating a great meal.

As a distraction for him I tossed one garbage bag out the driver door and requested that he drag it away from the car so I could get rid of the rest of my load. He politely accommodated me and I madly tossed the load out of the car as fast as I could with two hands and one eye. I kept the other eye on the bears. My bear-watching eye noticed three other bears draped over tree branches around the dump, enjoying their afternoon naps.

Now the car is filled with the second load; this one destined for the Goodwill. Jo said a tearful good bye to his stroller (which he outgrew last summer) and we all are breathing easier.

I do love a good purge of junk. And it makes my new kitchen walls look even purtier!

Does that look pinkish to you?

2011-06-30T09:04:00.002-05:00

There are a million permutations of beige. They range from vanilla bean to iced coffee to milk chocolate. Then there are the plethora of chocolate tones; milk to dark (hmm, getting hungry here).

Well, I have been itching to redecorate for three years (since we moved in here). It was not practical to redecorate as the whole house had been repainted the week before we moved in. The colour were okay (sage green and icy blue), but they really are not me; too girly.

So, with a whole summer of holidays at home we have time to repaint. Since we have lived with the colours for three years, LK can cave to my request without being completely irresponsible financially. I keep telling him how cheap paint is (compared to replacing furniture...).

So, I was loosed on the paint samples. It didn't take long to narrow my choices to one colour card. Then I discovered that I can find complementary colours through online colour tools and I was away to the races. Colour chosen, quantity calculated, and list of painting tools carefully made I went into town to make the purchase. We splurged on the primer and paint in one that is all the rage. I totally recommend it. The coverage was great. We only had to do one coat. There are a few spots for touch-ups where Sprouts brushed against the walls or the brush left strokes. But far fewer than the last time I painted (over ten years ago).

We did the whole shebang; fill holes (not with toothpaste as we did last time - college students!), sand bumps, and scrub all the walls and cupboards with TSP. My kitchen has never been cleaner. After all that prep work the painting was easy. And a reminder of how much I like painting. It was a pleasure.

Until, that is, we actually put paint on the walls. Then I was overwhelmed by self-doubt.

"It looks like it is pulling pink to me. Does it look pinkish to you?" was the first clue LK had that I wasn't sure anymore.

After several hours of analyzing the colour in various lights (in daylight it is perfect, the light reflecting off the red deck makes it look pink, and the overhead lights make it darker) my face still read not sure. My poor spouse was a little anxious. I think he was afraid that I would demand to repaint in a whole new colour. I did seriously consider it for a few minutes; the prep work was all done, it just meant another coat. Instead I decided we should live with it for a day, and then decide.

Good call. This morning I came down for breakfast and am in love with it. The kitchen is all cream in a latte with toast colours. I feels peaceful. Now I have plans to purge all the junk we have been collecting since we moved in here three years ago to prepare for painting the living room.

If you know me, you know that I would never be able to stop at just one room. The whole downstairs needs to flow in a peaceful river of yummy latte and chocolate colours. (Oh my, really hungry here).

However, the paint colour is not the problem in the living room. Its the stairs, which are open to the living room and have a 2-story ceiling at the top. How will we cut neatly cut edges all the way up there? And then that carries us upstairs...

I may not be posting for a week. Lots of painting to do...

School-Lag

2011-06-20T12:12:00.003-05:00

Jet lag is not something I am not familiar with. I am not much of an air traveller. We do all of our travelling by car or on foot.

School-lag, on the other hand, I am very familiar with. This is the phenomenon where at the end of a school year undeniable exhaustion hits. Napping at random moments sneaks up on you. It is all too often the result of trying to cram too much work into too little time.

In university I succumbed to it after exams every May. I would arrive home to my parents' home and sleep a week away- catching up on the backlog of sleep of which I had deprived my body throughout the year. I felt it was well worth it, as I could do all the activities that I wanted to during the year and pay the piper on holidays.

Most school years now it is pretty mild. As I have matured in chronological years, I have also done a bit of maturing in time management. I have learned that paying the piper later is often heavy on interest and the level of joy I can take in activities when I am barely awake is limited. However this year blew all that out of the water. Both LK and I are seriously school-lagged.

Our weekend turned into a napfest. The Sprouts played wonderfully together, enjoying the lack of time pressure and two whole days at home (we are stretching the groceries until tomorrow). LK and I traded off napping time. While not an ideal Father's Day weekend, it was what we needed.

I think we are almost caught up and ready to enjoy our holidays. Just a few more days at work to get classrooms ship-shape and the the duckies in a row...

Another Teachable Moment

2011-06-16T12:22:00.002-05:00

Five bla-ack bears,
Four white-tailed deer,
Three turtles,
Two ra-abbits,
A-and me i-in my-y-y car! (to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

On Tuesday evening I dashed into town for a few last minute grad items. On the way there and the way back the above song was my list of critter sightings.

The third turtle was actually at home. She was in the grass outside the house digging a hole. A turtle hole in June means eggs on the way. So, I ran inside to drag LK outside to watch her dig. Although we great big threatening-looking humans were looming around she persisted in digging one slow scoop of dirt at a time.

An hour later LK woke Fi up to come out and watch the turtle lay her eggs. It was really cool!

Yesterday we researched turtles and learned that it was a western painted turtle. She lays her eggs in May or June way up here in the northern end of her range. They will hatch at the end of August or early September. Since we are so far north the baby turtles will hibernate over the winter in the nest and emerge in the spring. We are planning to mark the nest with stakes so that we can watch for changes in the fall and then wait for the babies to emerge in the spring.

I am tempted to dig up a few eggs as a great science lesson. It would just be for Fi and Jo since school is done now. LK convinced me that it would for the best to let this teachable moment pass as an observation rather than hands-on learning.

Day 4 (belatedly)

2011-06-15T20:11:00.003-05:00

Dredging back through a very busy week to last Thursday...

We arrived at daycare to find two other parents dragging small children away from the daycare. Not a good sign. The disgruntled expressions of the parents' faces made me sure that something was amiss.

Walking up I was not at all surprised to find that the daycare was closed. Someone broke in during the night; there was glass on the floors and the police were being waited on. So, back into the car and off to school with all three of us.

Being a wee bit sleep deprived at this point in the week/school year I did not have the wherewithal to come to the obvious solution (have Jo spend the day in JK). Instead I started creating convoluted solutions in my head that were in no way solutions, but actually created more problems. Thankfully the Boss was thinking more clearly and got right to the point.

We dropped Fi off at school and made a mad dash home to make a lunch for Jo and grab his school bag (with extra clothes in case of accidents). As I ran into the house I asked Jo to come in and grab his sweater while I made lunch. He opted to scrape squirrel poop off a neighbour's porch instead. He felt it was a higher priority at that time.

Proud of myself for not making a big deal about it, we rushed back to school in time. Everyone safely ensconced in appropriate classrooms, the day proceeded normally (at least normally for our reality).

Then right before afternoon recess the JK teacher came to find me. She was concerned the Jo had not used the washroom yet. He apparently was claiming that he only uses the washroom at home. Knowing that to be a song and dance from Jo, I followed her back to her classroom.

Jo was happily mucking about. When I asked him if he needed to pee, he said that he didn't. Then he said he needed to go in the big bathroom. So off we went.

After explaining that Mama is a girl and can't go into the boys bathroom with him (for the millionth time), he did his business and all was well. While he was inside I noticed that he had been was followed out of the classroom by a trail of curious JK students. They stood in the hall watching me wait for Jo outside the bathroom door. Nothing like an audience...

But the real news is that Papa got home before supper. We missed him SOOOO much. He got great big hugs. Super sized hugs. And I felt a great big load slip off my shoulders. Even though the Sprouts were wonderful, and I was a responsible grown up for the whole time he was gone there is nothing like knowing that your partner is there beside you, ready to handle life together.

I have no idea how single parents do it on their own. I have enormous respect for them. And I am ENORMOUSLY grateful for having LK in it with me; even if some days we are both just stumbling through the dark. At least we are stumbling together.

Day 3

2011-06-08T18:49:00.002-05:00

This morning I came out of the bathroom after my shower to find Jo and Fi curled up in her bed.

"Mama, Fiona and I are snuggled up," Jo shared very contentedly.

A few minutes later I checked in on them again and found them both with their noses in bird field guides. This past library visit Fiona checked out all the bird field guides in the children's section of the library. (Do not ask me where this keen interest in things scientific came from; it seems to be a strange aberration LK's and my artsy genes).

For two days they have been out birdwatching in the evening.

It all began when we came home Monday to find a pile of yellow and black feathers on the driveway and a smear of critter guts on the front walk. We very cleverly deduced that something predatory had gotten a bird. But we were not sure what the bird was. We used the clues in the leftover feathers to hunt down options. The feathers were dragged to school and daycare for consultation with various experts. Fearless Leader at school thought it might be northern flicker feathers. Jo's teacher admired them with just the right amount of attention to make him feel very clever. We found the northern flicker in our field guide at home and thought that it was an excellent identification.

Then off they went; two little bird watchers.

Fiona has a little pair of "binoculars" from some toy set that don't magnify anything much, but they make her feel like a scientist. And Jo tags along after here with his own identification process; everything is a chickadee or a northern flicker to him.

Now the collection of feathers sits on the dining room table waiting for Papa to come home from his field trip so we can show him. It can join the jawbone Fi has carefully arranged for display on the side deck.

I just had a mental flash forward to a house filled with a collection of Fi's scientific finds over the next hew years; a veritable museum of her discoveries. Oh dear, what have we begun?

Day 2

2011-06-07T17:25:00.002-05:00

Things are CRAZY at work this week. Just CRAZY. I had a realization this morning (after dumping all my own crazy on my poor sister over the phone last night; thanks for being there, chickie) about getting through the crazy. The realization? Nobody needs my drama right now.

Everyone at work (and I mean everyone) is dealing with a whole big load of crap. People are tired. People are mourning loss of family or friendships. People are preparing for major transitions in their lives. People are trying to be strong for others that they love. People are scared that someone they love may not come home. People are scared that they may not make it home.

A colleague today modelled exactly what we all need right now. She was enjoying a 'recovery day', where her students were not at school (sleeping in and recovering from their field trip yesterday) and so had a quiet room all day. She popped in just before lunch and volunteered to supervise my class at lunch so I could have a break. She did the same for another colleague, taking two classes. Now that is a servant heart!

When I expressed my thanks for her kindness, her response epitomized what I need to turn into my refrain, "Hey we're all on the same team! We gotta help each other out."

In order for everyone to get through the next two weeks at school and at home, we need to be solid. No drama. No make a bigger deal than it really is. None of it. We need to be grown ups, not divas.

On the home front things are good. I thought that I would be losing it after 24-hours without my darling spouse to share the load. But the Sprouts are truly wonderful. I can actually cook more than one dinner in a row without dropping. And as long as I am not too ambitious about tackling home improvement or cleaning projects right now, staying on top of dishes is not much harder on my own. I know that doing this on my own long term would be really hard (big kudos to single parents out there), but I am just content that we are still doing pretty darn good as day 2 comes to a close.

Day 1

2011-06-06T18:35:00.002-05:00

LK got off safely to Thunder Bay on his great big adventure with his grade eights. They were almost bursting with excitement as they waited in the hallway to load up their gear and get on their way this morning. I can only imagine how much fun they are going to have - and how little sleep they will get.

Meanwhile, down on the homestead the Sprouts and I are making our way without our dearest Papa. So far so good. Fi was safely dropped off from her field trip shortly after 5. We all got our gear home and I got dinner underway with no meltdowns at all. Woohoo!

While cooking I was puttering in the kitchen; washing up breakfast dishes, checking Facebook, etc. The kitchen windows are open so I can hear the Sprouts outside and I was listening for the key words that mean I need to spring into action; bear, Jo did---!!!, and BEAR. I heard none of them and was enjoying the warm sunshine, leaves dancing - the whole nine yards of a gorgeous spring (almost summer) early evening.

Then I called the Sprouts in for dinner and I heard Jo say, "I need to wipe my bum."

Pardon me, I thought. Surely I didn't hear that correctly.

"What do you mean; you need to wipe your bum?" I asked, quickly getting outside to see what he was up to now.

I am sure you know. He is three. He is a boy. He seems to be under the impression the the ditch is a great place to dump all sorts of things.

After a very clearly enunciated rebuke that we do not, under any circumstances, poop in the ditch when there is a perfectly good toilet right up the stairs, we went in for supper.

I guess his mistake is understandable as he has had to stop to take care of business in the bush on a hike. He didn't seem to see the difference between the bush, way out there, and the ditch right beside our house.

He understands the difference now. And just to be sure, we went over it again while I scrubbed him in the tub after supper.

Hanging On

2011-06-05T10:08:00.003-05:00

Nine days.

Nine days of teaching to be cheery and gracious and just keep swimming (thanks Dory)through. And then, the light at the end of a very long tunnel will burst over everything and we can slow down and smell the roses (or dandelions). It can't come soon enough.

Maybe by then the actual sun will burst through these crazy cool temperatures and going to the beach will be more than a dream.

Visions of sunny days and sparkling water are keeping me going right now.

Big Boy

2011-05-29T08:45:00.004-05:00

The daycare was closed for the second half of the week. Usually that means trying to have Jo in the classroom with me, or taking days off to be with him at home. However, our JK teacher was very gracious in allowing him to join her class for those days. So we all packed lunches into backpacks and drove off to school on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

After the usual nervous "something unfamiliar" arrival, Jo quickly made friends with other children and played on the school playground with the fierce delight that he plays everywhere else.

On Friday morning he went outside before school to play with his big sister and her friends. LK was on duty and popped his head into my room on his way by to report that they were tromping about in the bush on the hill, having a grand old time.

Then on Friday he brought home a package of his "work", which he proudly shared with us. He and Fi then commences to spend a chunk of their Friday afternoon "working" together at the kitchen table.

I think that Jo is just about ready for the big transition to school.

Mama Bear

2011-05-25T18:21:00.003-05:00

We have new neighbours; a mother bear and her only cub. They have taken up residence in the bush somewhere close to the teacherages and make an almost nightly visit to our garbage bin. At first we thought they were so cute. It is great evening entertainment to watch them wander around; especially the nightly opening of the garbage bin that she struggles through.

Clean up after her isn't great. She is such a sloppy guest, leaving garbage strewn all over the place. LK is such a curb-appeal guy that he cleans up after her every time.

The mother is gorgeous - her coat is healthy and glossy. She takes her time strolling around and lets her Little Bear explore while they walk. She is the first bear that I have ever heard talking. She grunts almost like a monkey to him quite constantly as they walk. It sounds like she is telling him everything she knows about life.

The cub is the size of a small dog and was very nervous and shy a week ago. Now he seems to have settled in and is quite comfortable cavorting around his mama's legs. He is adorable with cinnamon coloured ears and a jet-black body. If he didn't have such a fierce protector it would be totally tempting to snuggle him like a teddy bear.

Last night Mama Bear was having her evening meal in the garbage bin - she climbs right inside and the lid shuts on her. You could easily walk up to it not knowing that she was inside... Anyway, she was having her evening meal and the poor cub couldn't figure out where she was.

He cried and whined piteously. No answer. He moaned and groaned like he was dying. No answer. Finally the scared little guy went tearing off into the bush looking for his missing mama.

Well, when her tummy was full, Mama Bear climbed out of the bin and grunted to her little guy. No answer. She grumbled and groaned. No answer. Then she showed why you should never mess with a Mama Bear and ran across the clearing in a second crashing into the bush after her cub. Not even a track star could outrun her!

I think this is a neighbour that we don't want staying in the neighbourhood, as our own little bears like to play and wander outside in the evenings. Somehow I don't think that Jo and bears are a healthy combo...

15

2011-05-12T08:54:00.000-05:00

In the first few years we were wrapped in a cocoon of newlywed bliss. We lived entirely for our relationship. We poured energy into building our new family of two with all the passion in both our souls. We were determined to build a marriage that was strong enough to withstand the struggles over money and time and the conflicts of life. They were years rich with emotional intimacy and love.

Then the honeymoon stage passed and we poured energy into building our life in our community through our work. We began to build connections with other families and establish roots to more than one another. We were blessed to know people who were chosen-family; honourable aunts, uncles, grandparents, and siblings. We are fortunate that some of those relationships are still strong to this day, even though stressed by the challenges of distance and busy lives. They were years rich with interpersonal intimacy and love.

Then we added to our family and the entire focus of our lived shifted. Now we build for our children. Every day, rain or shine, we rise and do our best so that our Sprouts will know the love of their parents and between their parents as unconditional and unreserved. These are years rich with partner intimacy and love.

It has been fifteen years of building a relationship of love. I am beyond thankful for the partner with whom I have been blessed to work. I am excited to continue to build and have adventures with my dearest husband for at least fifteen more years (hopefully fifty). I anticipate love that continues to grow rich and deeper with each year.

LK, you are my heart, my laughter, my strength, and the very best partner I could ever hope for. Thank you for building with me for these past fifteen years.

The Cost of Peace

2011-05-10T14:06:00.002-05:00

My Nan is remembered as being a lady who valued peace above all. She went to great lengths to maintain peace in her home between family members. She never spoke out in public in any way that would cause a rift or offense to others. As a result I imagine there were things in her life that were very frustrating for her. But she valued peace more than anything else and chose to live with the consequences of that value.

It is not an easy thing to commit to a value and then live it. Values often require of us a sacrifice of our own comfort or desires if we commit to truly living them. For Nan it meant keeping quiet about her own wishes and spending much of her time mending fences between others. For that I hold her in great respect.

We each choose the values that are most important to us. Sometimes two values come into conflict with one another. Then we have problems and struggles. When our values are in conflict with those of other people we also have conflict between individuals or groups.

Conflict is not usually pleasant. But is it always bad? Can we take something positive out of challenging or difficult situations? Absolutely. In fact, research on successful leaders indicates that they are not those who have the fewest conflicts, but are those who learn the most from their choices.

I believe that peace is important. I value honesty more. And I value excellence the most. I struggle daily in all aspects of my life to balance those values. They cannot always function together in harmony. Sometimes I have to choose which one will be honoured in a moment.

Those choices can be really hard to make and to live with. But live with them we must.

That is when it is most important to look closely at ourselves and learn from our choices (whether they were successful or mistakes). It is how we grow.

Treat(y) Day

2011-05-07T10:54:00.002-05:00

Treat Day is what Jo called it when explaining on Wednesday morning to his Nana why we were not at school. That description sounded great to me as it was a day without work that I got to spend with the Little Man.

Now that the weather is consistently lovely his constant refrain is, "Can I go play outside?" and that is often followed up by, "Mama, I want to go for a hike."

Since it was Treat(y) Day we splurged and went to for two hikes; one before lunch and one after.

As previously mentioned, Jo is not a quiet hiker. He likes to engage in a running narrative about what he sees, and what he thinks, and what he wonders (a lot like his Mama). Sometimes I feel the need to engage in his narrative and correct his grammar (jumped, not jumpded) or indicate my listening with questions. But not this time. It was lovely to just walk behind him and listen to him ramble as he explored. All he really needed was a smile and lots of patience while he stopped every ten metres or so to examine something amazing that he "discovered".

It was just both of our speed.

Mudslinging

2011-05-03T20:19:00.002-05:00

There is a picture in my parents' photo album of my sisters and I wearing mud suits (one pieces splash-pants and jacket) in the late 1970s. We are playing outside in the mud in May. The following picture is of my face, splattered in mud. One of the other girls had thrown a handful of mud at me; literally slinging mud. I made the crankiest face possible while my mom suppressed a grin into the camera.

After supper tonight the Sprouts wanted to head right back outside to play with our little neighbour (who they are delighted to have living next door now). For about ten minutes there was blissful peace while they made mud pies and various other ditch water delicacies. Then Jo went careening into the ditch to get a shovelful of water to add to his bucket. Unfortunately he didn't quite lift his feet high enough as he stepped down the bank.

Howls of upset rose into the air and he stomped up onto the porch. He was plastered with splashes of mud from head to toe. I tried to restrain my smile as he moaned his distress. He wasn't hurt, just irate that he was wet, muddy and cold when mere moments before he was having so much fun.

I had a flashback of muddy spring days in northern BC when I was a Sprout. And I didn't envy the poor guy at all.

Three for One Deal, Not So Much of a Deal

2011-05-02T18:03:00.003-05:00

It felt like three days.
It surely can't only be Monday done.
I am sure that there was enough stuff crammed into this day to fill at least three.

No?

Oh.

Then why am I so drained?

Three for the price of one... in sales I like those numbers. In my workday, not so much.

Let's try a one to one day tomorrow.

Growlings

2011-05-01T16:52:00.003-05:00

All I have to say for today is... FINALLY a connection to the internet! Grrrr! Inconsistent, unreliable.... Grrrr!

Overpriced Bell service is looking better and better these days.

Happy

2011-04-26T13:07:00.005-05:00

Spring brings out the happy in me like nothing else (with the one exception being family holidays traveling and exploring with my DH and the Sprouts). It is so miraculous to wake up every morning with the sun higher in the sky, the birds louder in their celebratory chorus, and the world a shade greener than it was yesterday.

Even though I was not quite ready for the weekend to end this morning, it wasn't too hard to get out of bed. After my first morning run of the spring (I have been running after school or during lunch so far) I was in fine form to tackle a chaotic day at school.

This week is crazy; in a good way. We have a travelling planetarium here, a travelling theatre troupe here and science fair right in the middle of it all. And that is crammed into three-and-a-half days!

By Friday we will be more than ready for another weekend. But today I am full of the happiness of spring and the birds' singing, and I am ready for any challenge (I hope).

Happier Easter

2011-04-25T17:29:00.004-05:00

Well, today turned our Easter weekend all around. And I am thankful for it.

We started with an announcement from Jo that he was HUNGRY! In traditional Jo style it was shouted at the top of his lungs from his room to ours. That was great news, as when he is sick he doesn't want to eat anything. Hooray for grumbly tummies.

Since the smaller Sprout was finally healthy it was time to do our Easter weekend (all in one day). No lazing about in jammies this morning. We had eggs to hunt!

The Sprouts each had two colours of plastic eggs to hunt for outside. When they had both found all their eggs, they brought them in and opened them up. Inside were clues to where their Easter baskets could be found. Jo's clues were a picture puzzle. Fi's clues were word chunks that she had to assemble into a sentence. The treasure was hidden in the dryer.

Then is was a quick pack-up and a dash into town. Both LK and I were feeling a bit cabin feverish (two days with a little boy sweating all over me is not my favourite way to spend the weekend). We needed to get out of the house. And we really needed groceries.

After all the necessary errands were taken care of it was time to relax and enjoy the beautiful weather. We went to the park. There we discovered that we are no longer the parents of little kids. Our kids are less playgrounders and more explorers. So we left the park for a hiking trail. This was much more every body's speed and went terrifically well.

Until we climbed down from the hill over the train tracks and found the OPP waiting for us. Oops! Apparently somebody had phoned in that there were kids on the tracks. We weren't technically on the tracks at all. And we were being responsible grown-ups by hiking with our kids. However, some caring soul who was watching out for the safety of the community was being cautious. To be clear, there were no signs to warn us off. In fact the trail had a little sign about 500 metres before the tracks that said "Tunnel" and led straight to the tracks. To me that is an invitation to explore.

Anyway, out of concern for the "kids on the tracks", trains were being held up and the police were sent out to check things out. We apologized. The OPP guys were lovely, in fact Jo made friends with them as we walked back to their car. They gave the Sprouts the grand tour of their cruiser and talked to Jo on the megaphone. He was quiet shy in the moment, but told us all about it on the way home (like we weren't right there beside him).

We ended the day with our first visit of the season to DQ. It was especially sweet since this was the first day that we had to peel layers off and felt too warm by the end of our hike.

I can feel summer just around the corner.

Mopey Easter

2011-04-24T08:38:00.003-05:00

My bundle-of-energy boy has been out of sorts the past few days. Yesterday he shocked us by crawling into our bed at 11:45am and promptly falling asleep for an hour. This is a boy who doesn't nap at all anymore.

Then he went outside after eating three bites of his lunch. He couldn't resist the lure of helping his papa with raking the lawn. An hour later he was inside again and curled up on the couch; out cold for another hour. After spending most of the afternoon on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep he picked at his dinner and wanted a bath and to be tucked into bed.

We tucked him in last night with the sinking feeling that we might be stuck here at home for Easter Sunday.

It is now 8:30 and the Sprout hasn't eaten his breakfast. He was up more times than I can count last night wanting water, feeling cold (even though he was burning up to the touch), or just needing a hug. He refused to take any Tylenol to bring his temperature down. This morning he is just warm, but still off his feed.

His mama is cross-eyed with exhaustion. I am a 8-9 hour-a-night kind of girl, and the nights where I get less than 7 hours of sleep are not pretty. Last night there was only one stint that was longer than an hour. I am the one who wants to curl up on the couch and nap the day away today.

Today I miss being only three blocks from church. With home that close I would push Jo to go. But an hour in the car with a feverish child and then turning right around if he can't handle it is not a challenge that I am up to today.

Missing Easter Sunday worship is making me mopey. That and being dead-tired.

A Teacher

2011-04-21T20:33:00.005-05:00

Over the past two weeks my spouse has begun the difficult process of letting go of his first class. Your first class is special - they are big part of molding who you are as a teacher. For LK it is infinitely more special and difficult as he has spent almost two years with most of this class. They are a really wonderful group of students. And, as we often do with our students, he has grown to love them almost like they are his own kids.

If you read his blog you may have noticed that he has changed how he shares stories about his class. His ears have become attuned to their hearts. His heart celebrates their joys. He is a Teacher of the finest calibre.

I am incredibly proud of LK. He has demonstrated a level of faithfulness to his students that awes me. He has put his own wants and needs aside time after time to do what is best for them.

It is the same approach he brings to being a husband and father. I am so unworthy of this amazing man... and so blessed to have him in my life.

Coach K

2011-04-16T09:40:00.002-05:00

Wednesday, halfway through lunch found me not sitting at my desk slogging through a pile of marking, or swapping ideas with colleagues via the WWW, but out on the dirt road towards the old reserve with 20 students. I was coaching the soccer team.

Some of you are saying, "What!?"

Because all who know me know that sports have never really been my thing. I am more of an arts diva; music, theatre, fashion. I was a complete klutz (according to my ever-so-accurate self concept) in high school and university.

As an adult I have not exactly turned into the sports queen, but I have discovered some activities that I really enjoy, and have the benefit of being good for me. Running is at the top of the list. Three years ago in our first winter here in the north I added cross-country skiing to that list, and last summer, canoeing.

This spring as the spring fever season began (which in our school means science fair, sports, random holidays, traditional holidays, and on and on) and the days of productive learning decrease exponentially each week, the season for soccer coaching has started. I ignored the season, as I assumed that the staff member who usually coaches the 4-6 team would want to do so again and life for me would continue as last year (trying madly to get as much learning into these last few weeks as possible). But I was wrong.

Said staff member is ready for a break, and that left my gr. 5 colleague and I. We decided that sharing the coaching was a good plan. So, as the runner, I volunteered to coach the fitness aspect of the team and lead training runs with the students. She has had an eager parent volunteer to work on skills and drills with the students. Together I think we will have a great time and a great team.

Since I was going to be out there anyway, why not invite the 7-8 team to join us?

And so I find myself wearing running gear to teach in three days a weeks right now. And as many classes sit down to their lunches, I head out the door with a group of 20+ students to run through the community. Lunch for the runners get squeezed in where we can find time.

And you know what... I am really enjoying myself. The kids are wonderful company. I get to listen to them share their thoughts about life, and start to understand them in a way that I never can in the classroom. The weather has been beautiful. The sunshine and fresh air are soul-food. And the result is a huge endorphin rush that lifts my mood in the middle of the day.

I wonder if students would be interested in a running club longer term?

Meanderings

2011-04-12T16:27:00.003-05:00

My very favourite time of year is now. The school year is just starting to wind down, so I am not spending indecent amounts of time doing schoolwork every night. The days have stretched long enough to feel decadent, with the sun still staining the sky long after the Sprouts have been tucked into their beds. And the snow is only clinging on in small shady patches. A few more days of sunshine and the only winter left will be the ice on the lakes.

And the sunshine. Oh, that glorious, gorgeous, tension-melting sunshine! I want to bathe in it; with bubbles, for hours. I want to spend every moment that is available outside revelling in its warmth. I want to melt all the winter out of my bones and soak them in summer.

So I am sitting on the deck, soaking in the lovely, lovely warmth.

And in the background I am listening to the chatter of the Sprouts playing in their mudboots. They are searching for some kind of bronze staff (can you tell Fi has started reading fantasy?) and worms and red ants (can you tell that Jo loves critters?). I think the sunshine is inducing a state of peace between them that normally deosn't exist. They sure don't play this nicely when they are stuck inside in the rain.

Although we learned this weekend that rain isn't a sentence to stay inside all day. It's really an opportunity to use our umbrellas, splash pants, and rain coats. And a great time to get completely soaked to the skin and then warm up with hot chocolate.

Man, I love spring!

Morning Drive

2011-04-07T17:01:00.003-05:00

The snow is more than halfway gone. All the banks that are left are littered with the sand from the snowplows. Roads are clear and mostly dry. Small streams of meltwater are wending their way to the lakes all over the place. The Sprouts were debating the process in the car on the way to school this morning.

"Mama, the snow is disappearing!" observed Jo, quite awed at the apparent miracle occuring before our eyes.

His very literal thinking sister corrected him, "It's not disappearing, it is melting."

"Disappearing."

"Melting."

Debate over. Bickering begins. Deep sighs from two tired parents in the front seat.

Listening to them reminds me of the arguments I used to have (well, to be truthful - occasionally still do have) with my own siblings. As long as both parties are dead set on being right, there is no finding peace. And both Sprouts were positive that they were right. Since they weren't shouting I just watched out the window and tried to tune it out.

Who'da Thunk?

2011-04-01T15:05:00.010-05:00

I have been teasing my parents about moving up here for the past two years. It is a place where they would feel at home in many ways; it reminds me of Muskoka (on steroids) with a lot less people, there are lots of amazing people with ideas and dreams that would be interesting and exciting for my parents to get to know, and they would get lots of quality time with the Sprouts. And, really, they were the ones who started this whole pick-up-and-move-a-million-miles-away trend in our family when they started their own adventure.

However, they have my two sisters and my nephew living close to them where they are now. The closeness that they have with my sisters and nephew is really important to them. And they have their own siblings (my aunts and uncle) nearby as well, and are enjoying the relationships with them. Plus they live on a little lake in a little log cabin that is just about paradise. So, I thought that my teasing fell on deaf ears. But, ever hopeful, I figured it couldn't hurt to put it out there.

Turns out it didn't. And the ears weren't deaf.

About two months ago I got a phone call from them. They were wondering if my dad's experiences and skills would be in any way useful to the school community here. My dad has done a lot of really amazing things in his life; and his skills are jigsaw fit with the needs of the school right now - the school is starting a co-op program to support young people learning employable skills in trades, and my dad has spend 40+ years working in the trades and working with young people in various contexts. Dad wants to pass along the skills that he has learned before he retires. Having two of his grandchildren down the road would by a lovely little perk.

After an initial conversation with the Director, and her request for his resume my teasing wish for Nana and Pop to be close to us seemed like it could actually come true. Of course, it was far from a done deal. Since there were many possibilities that could make it impossible, I tried really hard not to think too much about what an amazing thing it would be. Well, I failed in that. But I did manage to keep it quiet!

So, with a request for the Director to combine a visit with a chance to meet with the school board and discuss possibilities, Nana and Pop planned a visit this past week. It was an intense three days. But really wonderful. We got three whole days of time revelling in their company and advice and love. And the results make me over-the-moon happy.

In August Nana and Pop will be moving in as our neighbours-down-the-road for the school year. Dad will be working at the school as an industrial arts teacher. The vision is to support the newly formed co-op program with some in-school trades training. He is thrilled with the chance to share his love of craftsmanship, plus spend a year with the Sprouts. I am thrilled to get my parents here for a school-year and be able to interact in their lives in a way that I haven't been able to in over fifteen years.

I know that there will be some big challenges over the next year and a bit. I covet prayers for wisdom, patience, courage, stamina, and rich blessings for the whole shebang and everyone involved. And I am boggled at how what we thought would be an adventure for "just a year" is turning into a whole new life with challenges and joys that I never imagined. What an adventure all of life is. And what a treat to be surprised by joy all through it!

Page Turner

2011-03-27T08:39:00.004-05:00

When I read on the Kindle, LK occasionally mentions that my page turning is quite loud. Despite my best efforts to press that little page-turning-button quietly, there is always a click. He has a hard time falling asleep while I am reading in bed. Last night as I was falling asleep, LK was reading beside me. I realized suddenly that I couldn't hear a sound while he was turning pages. I sat up and shared this with him. His response, "Sweetie, you turn pages intensely. You do everything intensely. When you type...CLACK CLACK CLACK. When you breathe..." I lay there, trying to decide if he was criticizing or teasing when he leaned over, kissed my shoulder and said, "I love you just the way you are. You live life to the fullest. Some of us have a hard time doing that," and went back to his book. Reassured that he was not criticizing, I smiled, and fell asleep. Today I am trying to type a little more quietly. Just to be considerate. It is harder than it sounds. Change, even small change, takes work. And time. And perhaps shorter fingernails.

Spring Lift

2011-03-20T14:42:00.003-05:00

I had the most lovely end to my spring break - a hair and nails pampering plus a shopping trip with a friend. It was a wonderful break from mommy duties, and a literal breathe of fresh air as Saturday was lovely and warm in the city.

Friday I had some alone time at the hair dresser and getting my nails done. I walked out feeling like a million bucks and totally pampered. What a treat! Then was off to have a girls dinner out and a sleepover (just like when I was a kid).

Saturday morning we were up early (who gets up at 6:30 on Saturday?) and off to the city for some retail therapy. We had a good chat in the car followed by some serious thrifting. I really love a good thrifting day and came home in high spirits thanks to good deals, fabulous girl time and the pampering.

I came home with treats for everyone, which is lots of fun. LK got a new (actually new, not thrifted) grill pan to take his cooking to the next level. Jo got some adorable new shirts and sweaters; proof that his Mama cannot resist the colours blue and green. Fi got a new pair of ankle boots for spring and gorgeous new wall stickers to redecorate her walls in a more grown-up theme. She is growing out of the fairies stage and so we are transitioning to flowers and butterflies in the same colours. I was so tickled to find this as it means a new look without having to replace bedding or change the wall colours.

I came home with a wardrobe lift including a soft-as-baby-skin cashmere sweater and a pantsuit made of denim; both purchased at incredibly cheap prices and therefore even more delightful buys. Very fun and I can't wait to experiment with the mix and match possibilities in the coming weeks. I am intentionally avoiding the colour black in most of the new clothes that I purchase now - as I have historically had a very black-dominant wardrobe. Plus it is spring (seasonally if not according to the weather) and spring is all about colour.

So, with that great big dose of "Me Time" I am ready to tackle the last 13 weeks of the school year with energy and enthusiasm. Look out world, here I come!

Hibernation

2011-03-15T16:02:00.002-05:00

This has not been our best winter here. I don't know whether it was the weather, or whether it was us. Either way we have spent far too much of it cooped up inside. I skied less than ten times. We didn't even strap on snowshoes. Most of our outdoor time was spent building a snow fort or shovelling the driveways. And it wasn't enough.

Today, for the first time in months I strapped on my running shoes and started spring training. It was delicious. I felt like I was waking up after a long hibernation and my soul is hungry for the clean air and sunshine. Between the music, the endorphins and sunshine I came home in the best mood that I have been in for weeks.

I can't wait for for Thursday.

Harry for the Holiday

2011-03-10T19:27:00.003-06:00

Over the Christmas holidays Fiona discovered Harry Potter. In three weeks she read through the entire series and began what is shaping up to be an intense love of all thing Potter. Since then she has reread the whole series once and is started on her third time around. Yesterday her March Break treat arrived in the mail; a Harry Potter LEGO set. She was thrilled that it was all hers to build and keep.

This morning she was eager to get dressed and breakfasted. By 9:00 (the Sprouts and I were home as the daycare was closed and somebody needed to be with Jo) she was carefully cutting bags of LEGO pieces open at the dining room table. Fi worked on her side of the table with fierce concentration.

Jo and I worked on our side of the table building a log cabin together. His concentration was less fierce, and inserted in between bursts between laps through the house to grab another LEGO toy or play a round of a game with a LEGO guy. He calls the mini figures LEGO guys.

It took her most of the day. She stopped for lunch, some time outside to play in the snow, and not much else. By the time Papa came home from school she was the very proud constructor of her very own Burrow. And she was fending off Death Eaters with Harry and the Weasley family. I can see that there will be hours of play with this over the next week. And she is glowing with a challenging task accomplished all by herself.

Smart purchase, Papa!

Reading Pictures

2011-03-10T19:22:00.002-06:00

When children are not yet reading the words, I encourage them to see themselves as readers by teaching them to read the pictures. We can learn a lot from the illustrations in a picture book. We can use lots of great thinking skills and reading strategies. We can enjoy the story told by the pictures without ever worrying about the words.

Jo is just starting to realize that books are filled with words. At bedtime he likes to point to sections of text on the page and ask what that part says. He spells out words and asks what the word says. He is on the road to reading.

But the most important thing was brought home to me tonight at the dinner table when he said, "Mama, I can read the pictures all by myself in the daytime, can't I? I am really good at reading the pictures."

I realized he is on the road to being a reader and that his love of books is blooming. Yeah!

Almost Here

2011-03-10T08:20:00.002-06:00

Dinner is one of my favourite times at home. It is when I have the chance to really look at my kids and marvel at what incredible creatures they are.

Last night Jo was tired. So dinner started with a meltdown. As he was not able to pull himself together, LK carried him upstairs to calm down in his room. Halfway up the stairs I heard a quavering, "I want to wisten," from Jo. Then he shared with his Papa, "I tired."

The poor Sprout has so much game. He is willing to try almost anything, and sometimes the rest of the family forgets that he is only three. But when he reaches his end, he is really done.

LK brought him back down and he bravely ate his supper with tear-tracks running down his cheeks. Within a few minutes he was trying to tell jokes like his big sister.

I think that we are ready for a holiday in our house.

Lunchtime Habit

2011-03-08T18:15:00.002-06:00

We have a habit in our family of reading while we eat. Only at lunch, we have a strict rule that breakfast and supper are family time as those are the two meals that we eat together as many days of the week as is possible.

So, today at lunch as the Sprouts and I gathered around the table, JK stated, "I need a book," and off he went.

In the living room he looked at the bookcase and mused, "I can't find Halvin and Hobbes. I like Halvin and Hobbes."

With a little help he located Calvin and Hobbes and he was content to munch and read the pictures.

It figures that the boy who is the spitting image of Calvin (in spirit anyway) would gravitate towards this comic strip as his particular favourite.

Mondays Aren't Always Bad

2011-03-08T10:02:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was my first day back to the classroom in a month without my Teacher Candidate colleague there. The students were quite depressed as they came into the classroom in the morning. There were several quietly moaned protestations of love and longing for her, and a few requests to me that she come back.

I miss her too. There is a real joy in having another adult in the room who is working toward the same goals. It is also sometimes nice to have someone else to enjoy the humour that is part of every school day (because the kids often don't get what is so funny about what they just said). Plus she was a lovely person.

It is also nice to be back to just the students and myself. I can be a little more relaxed. I can be less anxious about making mistakes. Because having another adult in the room absolutely raises the bar. And I am supposed to be modeling master teaching skills day in and day out. Just a little bit of pressure there. Because, although I am a good teacher, I am not a master day in and day out. Sure, I have lessons and moments that are incredible. But I am sure not incredible all the time.

So it was very relaxing yesterday. And by the end of math class we were back in our groove, the students and I. And I was reminded why I really like this job and this group of students. We had a good day.

Sticks and Stones

2011-03-06T15:36:00.002-06:00

Do you remember the expression we used to chant at kids who were calling us names?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me!"

It was wrong. Names can shatter the bones of our courage and confidence more than any sticks or stones.

After my last post I received an angry comment that felt like a personal attack from behind a mask. It was a reminder of how it feels to be called names. It hurts. A lot. It is even worse when you don't know who is calling you names or why.

My response? First there were the typical (and, yes, sinful) set of responses; denial, anger, hurt. Then I called my mom. (What else does a girl do when she needs a shoulder?) She is woman of great compassion and wisdom. She listened to my hurt and pain spill out onto her shoulder through the phone lines. She poured a little motherly healing compassion on them.

And then she challenged me to find the lesson in this. What do I need to change in my behaviour? What do I need to look for in the pain of this other person that they are lashing out at me? How does my heart need to be transformed so that rather than sitting and wallowing in my own feelings, I am focused on the feelings and needs of others? How can I step forward and be transformed more into the image of Christ?

It has been a really hard weekend. I have laid awake at night. I have had miserable dreams. I have replayed most of the conversations I have had with people in my life for the past two months. I have searched my own heart. And, yes, I have found it wanting in compassion, humility, and love. (I tip over the balance between confidence and arrogance very easily; when I am not wallowing in complete self-doubt).

I know that this is an opportunity to grow. I can now (after more than 30 years) recognize opportunities for spiritual growth by the pain that is involved. So, friends and family, if I am slipping into gossip or unkindness please call me on it. It can be ask simple as, "EK, I think we are slipping into gossip here." I need to be held accountable.

One request. Do it to my face. I will do my best to listen to your words and take them deeply to heart. But when the critique comes from behind a mask and is filled with words that attack, they hurt a lot. And those injuries leave permanent scars behind.

Please don't throw sticks and stones.

Stirring the Pot

2011-03-03T10:19:00.002-06:00

For years I have wrestled with my desire for excellence. I strive to be my personal best (most of the time) and hold all the people around me to a high standard. Sometimes that means I am demanding and pushy. Most of the time I have made peace with the fact that I am a person who is driven, and not everyone else likes that. Usually I am okay with it, but not all the time. In my low moments I bemoan being a "pot stirrer" and try to change who I am. This is a frustrating and fruitless endeavour.

Recently I read a blog post on The Teaching Game blog that gave me pause. Katie, the author of the blog, writes that her mentors (those who have inspired or encouraged her to reach further and grow) have had some traits in common. Those traits were things the I wrestle with in myself. And it really encouraged me.

Katie's comment that her mentors have been the one person that awes and annoys everyone really hit home. I know that I annoy people. I don't want to, but excellence really matters to me and I just can't bite my tongue that much. And I love to learn as much as I love yummy shoes and chocolate - those are needs that are undeniable for me.

So I am trying to be polite and kind. But forget apologizing for being me. If you don't like that I want the very best for my students and that I am going to keep asking questions and challenging the status quo - go jump in the lake. Because I answer only to my Creator who requires my personal best every day. And I take great joy in the striving for it.

No More Tears

2011-03-03T10:04:00.002-06:00

For all my teacher peeps out there...

We spent the last day and a half in a Handwriting Without Tears (HWT) workshop in Kenora. WOW! What an amazing program. Everything I have learned about good teaching pedagogy, making learning interactive and fun, reaching all learners through a variety of learning styles, and working at developmentally appropriate levels with children is taken into account in this penmanship curriculum. (No, I am not being paid to say this).

I used the Canadian Handwriting curriculum when I taught in Toronto. I taught second and third grades for many years and so the introduction to cursive was a big part of our learning each year. When I moved up here I was exposed to HWT for the first time. I read through the manual and plugged away at it. I really missed the slant and loops of traditional cursive (as they make cursive have an elegant beauty - in my opinion), but did see that students were able to learn the upright streamlined style more quickly.

Then at the workshop I learned all the history and research behind the program. And we were shown how they work at preparing students for printing. There is a whole year of pre-printing activities to teach students to recognize their letters, learn that we start at the top, develop understanding of the stroke sequence, etc. And it is full of hands-on manipulative, and music, and action. All things that are near and dear to my heart. (I would like to break out in song with my class every day - and I used when I had a piano in my room).

So, coming out of this workshop I am completely convinced that HWT is an amazing program for teaching students to write neatly and have fun doing it. I have plans for playing with Jo and teaching him using many of the pre-writing activities (double bonus: we get time together and I get to extend my teaching skills).

For all my administrative peeps out there...

Although PD is expensive and it is a hassle to get subs to cover classes, please know that is it really worth it. Teachers are inspired, encouraged, and fired up to work harder when we are taught well and given good tools to work with.

All in all, two great days.

Bad Call

2011-03-01T20:10:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was Monday. As we pulled up to the daycare we noticed the dreaded white sheet of paper posted on the door that always means bad news for us. Daycare closed due to ___ (fill in the blank). Yesterday it was heating problems. So, as LK has used up all of his compassionate leave days for the whole year staying home with Sprouts in the fall and winter, it was my turn.

Going in to the school I was planning to organize plans for a sub, update my teacher candidate and head out with Jo. But then when I got in the classroom and saw the number of little details that it meant leaving unaddressed I couldn't do it.

At first I planned to stay just until lunch. That meant that I could do the "teaching" lesson that I needed to be there for (really hard for a sub to do) and then the sub could supervise the work period students needed in the afternoon. There was also an outstanding detention that needed to be addressed and I was reluctant to dump that on someone else. It was also the last day I had with my student teacher before her final observation. I felt that leaving her would let her down. Etc....

By recess I was also feeling bad about letting my Fearless Leader down and decided that since Jo seemed to be doing okay we could stretch it.

Jo did remarkably well during the school day. However, as soon as the students left he lost it. By the time we packed up to go home I was doing a Homer Simpson (Doh!) at myself. Why haven't I learned this lesson yet?

A three year old just doesn't belong in a fourth grade classroom. It's not good for the three year old, the fourth grade students, or the teacher.

Next time, someone shake me if I try to make it work again. Because, this was not a make it work moment.

The Joy of Cooking

2011-02-27T13:02:00.003-06:00

Baking is therapy. Both the baking and the eating are good for the soul. Baking bread is particularly soothing. Plus there is nothing that fills the house with a smell that is close to comparable in connoting warmth, home, and love than a rich, yeasty bread.

I have been yearning to try my hand at cinnamon raisin bread since LK gifted me with a gorgeous mixer. This morning I woke up thinning about it. So the morning mission was to try a loaf.

Pure joy.

Some Days

2011-02-19T10:13:00.002-06:00

Some days it turns out should have been spent just staying in bed. Yesterday had moments where I was tempted to call it one of those days. But, thanks to some wonderful people, it was the best day of the week.

You all know about the crazy windy weather that has brought winter temperatures back to Ontario after a gorgeous week of above spring temps and balmy breezes. Thursday night it sounded like the roof was going to be ripped off the house. We woke up in the morning to more snow and "snow devils" blowing madly about like whirling dervishes. Underneath all of it was a thin layer of black ice.

At school (since the whole community lived in a 25-square km area, we very rarely have snow days.) we were informed that the commuters from town (except for our slightly mad PE teacher who rove 3 hours in the ice and snow) were all staying put snug in their beds. As it was payday Friday and there were remarkably few students at school, it was a lovely laid-back morning. My 1/2-a-class worked on posters to review the reading comprehension strategy that we have been studying. This ended up taking most of the morning.

As the Sprouts, LK and I had an afternoon filled with dental appointments, we were planning to leave early so we could get to our first appointment in time. Unfortunately when we turned the key to start the car, the car wasn't interested in going anywhere. So, back into the school we went.

When we marched back into the school at first Fearless Leader looked questioningly. After our explanation he offered the school bus for a couple of days. I think was was joking. Then a high school teacher offered his car if we needed it. Then a resource teacher offered her keys if we needed to try another boost. Our bus driver went hunting for gas line antifreeze. In short, our community helped out. And they cracked jokes and teased in the Anishinanbe way. It was wonderful.

When I called the dentist I was expecting to get a lecture about cancelling on short notice and a hefty fee for wasting the dentist's time. Instead I got a warm smile over the phone and reassurance that it was no problem. The receptionist was wonderful and dealt very graciously with my three phone calls. No charge for the cancellation.

Finally, when I called CAA trying to get a tow - which we thought might be necessary at that point - the fellow on the other end of the line made several suggestions to avoid a tow and save us a huge towing fee. (Mental note: upgrade CAA membership to include tows of over 100km- since that is the distance to the nearest garage).

In the midst of upgrading our CAA membership, LK stepped into the doorway and announced that the car was running! Probably the warm weather followed by cold resulted in some moisture in car parts where it is not supposed to be, and the Suby needed some cajoling to get going. Only we were now 45 minutes behind, and had cancelled the dental appointments. Since the time was already booked off work (and it was halfway over, plus our classes were busy with their substitute teachers) we went anyway.

Instead of being a day filled with headaches and frustration (and a long anticipated trip to see the dentist), it was filled with community, caring, laughter, and a relaxed afternoon in town with my family.

As we curved around Silver Lake on the way home I was overflowing with contentment. The blowing snow danced around the setting sun, setting it afire with orange glow. Shadows stretched welcoming fingers across the lake, and we looked forward to the warmth of home.

And it really is Home.

Got Guts?

2011-02-16T17:48:00.000-06:00

I am currently hosting a student teacher in my classroom. This is something that I love to do; it is a chance to see up-and-coming pedagogy used by someone else, a chance to support the continuation of quality teaching in classrooms, and the chance to challenge myself to practice what I preach more closely in front of another adult. It is fun, challenging, and provides a nice change of pace in the middle of the year.

The downside for me is that I am a control freak. It is really hard to let go of "my" classroom and let someone else make it theirs. I know that it is really good for me, as the classroom isn't really mine to start with. It forces me to let go and let someone else have a chance to fly. And it gives me the chance to support them (and have comfort that I am not the only one)when lessons do not always go according to plan and students don't act the way we want them to.

Today was a good, although challenging, day. My soon-to-be colleague had a bit of a rough time with the class this morning. She soldiered bravely on, and I resisted the strong impulse to jump in and rescue her mid-lesson. At lunch we sat down and debriefed. Then she took a few minutes to herself and to get a break (we didn't really have a break in today's schedule)and then came back to teach her next lesson. She showed courage in getting right back into things after having students challenge her authority. I was impressed with her calm and her courage.

Most of the time teaching is great. There are no better people to work with in the world than kids. But sometimes, when they are not doing so well, they take it out on the adults around them. Then teaching takes the guts of a soldier and the stamina of a marathoner. That is when we really show our worth. And those who can hack it, do teach.

I am excited to be working with someone who has the guts and is on her way to developing all the other tools of the trade that make teachers artists.

2011-02-14T19:43:00.002-06:00

And there was a sweet surprise for me that was a "just because" treat (LK and I don't celebrate Valentine's - we don't like being dictated how and when we express our love for each other). My mp3 player stopped working on my last walk and I mentioned that I might need a new one. So yesterday my DH handed me a little box and smiled, "Happy not-Valentine's Day."

How did I get so lucky? I so do not deserve this man.

Valentine's Treats

2011-02-14T19:22:00.003-06:00

Yesterday afternoon I baked 120 cupcakes. My class and I decorated them today with pink icing, heart shaped and chocolate sprinkles, and cinnamon hearts. We were raising money for our end-of-year field trip. While it was lots of fun, my piping-bag muscles are not too happy with me.

After the cupcake baking yesterday, it was time for Valentine's cards to be prepared for today's celebrations. This year LK sat down with Jo and helped him write his cards. As always, when he gets time with his Papa, Jo was glowing with delight. It was wonderful to watch them work on it together.

Teacher Report Card

2011-02-09T18:36:00.003-06:00

Every year teachers are evaluated by their administrators. They use rubrics or checklists- much like we use when assessing our students. My annual assessment was today.

At a minute to one Fearless Leader bounds into the classroom with a big grin and announces to my Teacher-Candidate colleague and I, "I'll just be here behind your desk." He proceeds to dig into the mountain of paperwork that is teaching with a zeal that makes me slightly nervous.

After the math lesson, while students are working on their assignments, one student leans over and says, "He's on your laptop!" in shocked tones. (Under no circumstances are students allowed to touch the teacher laptop.) I assured her that is is okay and that he is doing a report card on me just like I recently wrote for her. That gave her pause.

I am thankful for the relationship I have with Fearless Leader. During the time he was in the room he joked with students, teased me, and set our TC colleague at ease. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to be working in a place where I can chat with my boss while he is evaluating my work.

The weight floated off my shoulders as he walked out the door (because regardless of how much you get along with the boss; being evaluated to stressful). And then he poked his head back in ten minutes later, "Just so you know, you did fine. Some teachers were wondering if I didn't say anything." You think?

Mental note: validate my students every single day. It really matters.

Vawentines

2011-02-08T18:50:00.002-06:00

On the way to school this morning a plaintive voice piped up from the back seat, "Mama, I forgot my valwentines!"

It was the second morning in a row that plaintive lament has been piped up from the back seat. We bought the valentines in the weekend. Fiona picked out Barbie ones with pink glittery tattoos (that her mama thinks would be fun as a fashion accessory). Jo is thrilled to have Cars valentines, and cannot wait to hand them out to his classmates at the daycare. But he just can't seem to remember that Valentines Day is not for another week.

Another holiday countdown started.

Jig I Cannot

2011-02-07T18:22:00.003-06:00

Elementary school teachers are often Renaissance-persons; having to be able to teach every subject area with some level of competency at some time in their careers. Lots of background knowledge and wide interests are essential. Despite our best efforts at knowing a little bit about everything, no one can really teach it all well. My area of weakness is dance.

Most of the arts are easy; I am a music major, almost theatre minor (short one course) with an very artsy-fartsy family background. But I have never taken an ounce of dance. I like to dance; Friday nights at Don Cherry's in Hamilton was a weekly staple of my university social life. My dorm mates and I took to the dance floor at nine and left at last call. We were all having too much fun to drink much.

But, according to the Ontario curriculum, that isn't quite what I am expected to teach my students.

So, with no dance background, and no teacher guides or textbooks, I took a leap; our first activity in our dance unit is going to be Line Dancing. And since I have one and a half left feet, I went hunting on the Web for some guidance. I found this, which is the first of a series of really well done dance steps tutorials. BINGO! Put together with an example of Line Dancing from an old GAP commercial (also courtesy of the fab Web) as the hook/intro and we had the start of our first lesson.

I was a bit unsure until we started. We laughed so hard and had so much fun. I think we may include dance twice a week.

Character Growth

2011-01-31T18:24:00.003-06:00

I have been reading Already Pretty for about a year now. I rather enjoy her approach to fashion; have fun, experiment, and there is no such thing as too many boots. Sally, the blogger, also regularly posts about the struggle that women have with self esteem. She is frank and honest about her own struggles, which is a big encouragement to me in my own struggles.

As I grow through the second half of my thirties, it feels to me like every year I feel more comfortable in my skin. But self esteem isn't just about appearance and our skin. Although I have made progress on accepting my outside, I am still working on the inside.

Our insides are hard to work on. I think that it is harder to grow character than to learn to love your appearance. I may be wrong, but that is my own experience. Personal growth is always painful for me. It often involves months of agonizing over an incident that makes me realize that I have an area in my character that is less than wonderful.

A bad day, a look from a student or colleague, a parent who doesn't like the way I handled a situation with their child, a cranky husband, or a whiny child... all of these can shake me to my core. They don't always, but sometimes it just takes a small thing to make me start down the path of self-analysis.

Something that I am trying really hard right now to do is address issues when they come up rather than stew for days and blow things all out-of-proportion (a glaring weakness in my character). I don't like confrontation. It is hard to bring up an issue with my spouse when he has hurt my feelings. It is hard to go to my child's teacher about something that my child is hurting over. It is hard to approach a friend who seems to be putting up walls rather than chatting at open doors.

But, if I don't do all of those things, I will end up alienated and alone. And loneliness is miserable.

Pajamatime

2011-01-29T11:49:00.002-06:00

I was awoken this morning by the weekly phone call from my mom. It was after nine o'clock. I wanted so badly to roll over and go back to sleep again.

Why so tired?

It has been a long week. Report cards. Lots of flu and colds. Students absent and then trying to catch them up. JK has had a cold and is coughing at night. Fi injured her nose (check out LK's blog for details).

It is now noon and I am still sipping tea in my robe. There is not an ounce of Type-A in me today. My greatest ambition is to get outside to enjoy the dump of fresh snow that fell last night and the sunshine that just broke through the clouds.

I am so thankful for an extra two hours at school yesterday afternoon to get all my prep for Monday done (my dearest LK took the kids home and let me stay to work). I have a weekend that is school-work-free for the first time in eons. BLISS.

So, my robe and my mug of tea will be my company until the Sprouts and LK and I feel like testing the fresh powder outside.

Oh, and my Kindle will get a little workout this weekend.

Sunshine

2011-01-23T20:54:00.000-06:00

Jo gets mopey when he is needing a little time with a parental unit. He was quite droopy yesterday afternoon after repeated requests for him to play upstairs for a bit while grown-ups talked ‘comments’ and tried to get wording just right (it is report card weekend here).

Then this afternoon his Papa brought out the LEGO. Well, LEGO in this house means uninterrupted time with Papa to build, and then it means a chunk of time to play.

I was lolling around in the living room while they built, listening to the chatter and enjoying a book. Then Jo came in cradling something clearly precious in his hands.

“Look, Mama!” he cooed at a small riding lawn mower made of LEGO, “But you have to be careful because its fragile,” he explained. His hands cupped the tractor as though it were a baby bird.

Jo walked away from this playtime with his father literally glowing; a flower that was just watered and set in the sunshine for a day. He was radiant with joy.

That boy sure loves his Papa, and his Papa’s LEGO.

elove

2011-01-20T14:19:00.003-06:00

My darling spouse sent me a link to an article in the Globe and Mail about the guilt a book reader feels when falling in love with an ereader. You can read the article here. I loved it! It captured exactly how I feel. And truthfully, I think we will be a family with several in the next year.

I also think that books are wonderful in any form - paper or e-ink. And I love that my voracious appetite for them can be filled without the rationing that I had previously been doing because we live so far away from our small town library. There is nothing quite so lovely as having unlimited access to your addiction.

Music to Think By

2011-01-16T17:09:00.002-06:00

After a week of madly watching Glee every night (we had the disks from the library for just a week and it is a looonngg waiting list to sign it out again) we are done season 1. And I am in a Glee-induced funk.

It is a great show. The music is exceptionally well produced and performed. The cast has a fabulous dynamic. The characters are easy to like and very human in their weakness. The comedy is funny - we laughed out loud often. And did I mention that I REALLY love the music?

BUT I am having a really hard time with the dynamic between Wil and Sue. I hate bullies. Hate them with a soul-searing passion. And Sue is such a bully. I am frustrated by the fact that we (teachers) spend so much time and energy trying to teach our students that bullying is not acceptable in society. We work to inspire them to be better than that. And it feels like, to me, the hierarchy of adult life is steeped in might is right. Blackmail and intimidation and influence have more power than integrity and encouragement and hard work.

It discourages me.

I know that isn't true everywhere. But there is just too much of it in real life. And it permeats the adult dynamics on Glee.

Then, on the way home from town yesterday LK, who had been very patient with my blues all day, said that maybe the success of the Glee club was born out of the adversity. They would have never made it so far without the nemesis of Sue looming over their heads all year. He had a point. But I still don't like it.

How much is just the right amount of adversity to inspire great things without squashing the soul? Can an environment of positive support and encouragement be detrimental? Have we become to namby-pamby politically correct and are our students suffering from it?

Hmmm....

A Love Story (cont.)

2011-01-14T16:55:00.004-06:00

The do-or-die approach to their relationship that Beth and Walter took by moving in together just a week after their first date proved to foreshadow the rest of their relationship. Nothing was done without full commitment, although some things were done without full forethought.

Their adventure began by reading a book on living the back-to-the-land lifestyle that resonated with Walter's growing beliefs to his very core. It took them across the country in a Volkswagon van. We catch up to them as they are sitting at the side of the road, parked. Please note that they are not broken down. Rather, the van is not broken down. Beth is definitely broken down.

She is sobbing on Walter's shoulder. He is doing his best to calm his beloved. This is a challenge. She is tired, is pregnant, is homesick, and has just discovered that they back-to-the-land utopia that they trekked thousands of kilometers to move to has been turned from a valley into a lake thanks to BC Hydro. There is nowhere to go.

Walter scans the area, looking for some hope to offer his desolate bride. On the other side of the road is a construction site. A partially framed house is bustling with a work crew. One of the workers stops work and looks at the van.

"Uh-oh! Hard hats," thinks Walter, "This can't be good."

Hard hats (construction workers) and Hippies are not on the best terms. Hard hats are part of the system. Hippies are counter-culture. They don't play nicely together.

Walter quietly locks the doors and continues to pat Beth's back.

He watches the Hard Hat stop working, walk across the second floor (such as it was), climb down the ladder, cross the main floor, stride across the lot and onto the road.

Walter keeps his eyes on his wife's head and soothes a little more.

Knock! Knock! A rap at the van window.

Carefully Walter lowers the window a scant few inches anticipating a hard time about parking on the side of the road and the irresponsibility of hippies.

"You folks look like you need a hand. Can I help?" asks the Hard Hat.

It turns out the Hard Hat was a Hippie with a day job. He lived in a huge rambling farmhouse with another couple, who were moving out the day and heading south. He had space for Beth and Walter to come and stay while they figured out what to do with their shattered dreams.

They stayed for several months until they needed to find a place of their own due to the impending arrival of Emily. Hard Hat helped them find a new home.

Walter also ended up buying his own hard hat for his day job. And he wore it to work every day for almost twenty years.

When LK and I moved north, the adjustment period was challenging. There were many nights where I called my parents and cried over the phone about my homesick feelings and lost relationships. They were both incredibly patient and compassionate about the adjustment. One night my dad shared this story of their own adventure with me. It was the first time I had heard this family story. It is now one of my favourites.

Bruises

2011-01-12T17:28:00.003-06:00

My poor Fi is tired and worn out from being sick. She sleeps huge amounts when she is recovering. Yesterday, after a night of endless vomiting, she spent most of the day passed out in her room.

This morning we needed to get back to work (for numerous reasons that aren't really relevant to the point of my post), so she was going to be dragged out of bed whether she was ready or not.

However, at 6:55 just before I dragged myself out of bed, she arrived at the foot of the bed with a great big smile on her face and announced, "I feel great!"

A huge sigh of relief from me and I joined her in facing the day.

Unfortunately her feeling great didn't last too long. After school she melted into a teary puddle at the table. Between a hot cup of hot chocolate and some careful listening we discovered that she is feeling teased by her classmates.

Oh, I hate this stuff. As a teacher I hate the way kids can be so incredibly mean to each other, often without even realizing it. As a mother, well I go all crazy-mother-bear about it (and need to be reminded to chill a bit by my spouse).

In reality it probably isn't a huge problem. But my Sprout is a very sensitive soul and feels hurts deeply. When others tease her she feels it as an attack. She thinks that they all pick on her because she is the smallest.

So I think we have a few years ahead of dealing with bruised feelings and working on developing 'standing up for myself' skills. Any tips?

Blech!

2011-01-11T09:52:00.003-06:00

It started out as such a lovely weekend. And it just slipped downhill a little more each day.

Jo woke up on Saturday morning with diarrhea, and promptly went through half his underwear. Then Saturday night he threw up all over his bed just as LK and I were settling in for the night. Sunday was more diarrhea and LK had a sore tummy.

Yesterday LK and I were not feeling well, he stayed home with Jo (who was still not 100%) and I went to work. By lunch I was ready to curl up in a ball on the floor and let my class do whatever they wanted to. However, half our teachers were out on PD. It turns out that none - not one - of the subs showed up for work. Fearless Leader ended up teaching for the day! The Resource Lady and gym teacher also were in classrooms covering for no-show subs. So there wasn't anyone left to cover my class.

As soon as I came home, straight to bed for me. I slept about 4 hours and felt marginally better. LK was worse, and Fi was complaining of a sore tummy.

Jo, though, was now in fine form. I think he was a bit confused about why the rest of us were so miserable.

Today, LK and I are supposed to be having our PD Day. Instead he is holed up in bed with a sore tummy, I am trying to keep Jo quite so Fi can sleep (looks like a day for too much tv), and Fi is dead to the world after being up most of the night with her head over the toilet.

The good news is that now that we have all started through the germs, it won't be long before we are all back to health again. The bad news is that we have to make it through the day feeling completely blech.

Glee(k)

2011-01-08T09:45:00.002-06:00

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Last night I arrived home from town with the first season checked out of the library. Three hours later we crawled into bed having laughed our way through the first three episodes. What fun!

After each episode we both turned to each other with grins wide as our faces and the look that said, "How about just one more?"

Today I am tired. It was totally worth it. It has been a long time since LK and I have been this relaxed and free about doing what is fun rather than what is responsible; it feels wonderful!

I feel like breaking out in song and dance in my living room. Do you think I could teach the Sprouts to sing back-up?

Best Tressed

2011-01-08T09:34:00.004-06:00

I think that one of the biggest elements that contribute to confidence in a woman's appearance is hair. When I have a bad hair day I have a bad day. When I have a good hair day (or, sweetness sublime, week) nothing can put a chink in my confidence. In the past six months I have transitioned from colouring my own hair at home to having it done professionally. What a difference!

I had my hair done yesterday afternoon; cut and colour. I love going to the hairdresser. Mostly because I have a absolutely FAB hairdresser.

Amanda at Urban Shag in Kenora (for those of you who think my hair cut is chic and want to look just like me - sarcasm alert) is a delight to have work on my hair. She is friendly and chats, remembers the details of my life and asks about what we were talking about in our last appointment. When I don't feel like talking she lets me catch up on my magazine reading. Most importantly, she listens to my ideas about my hair and then shares her ideas. It feels like a team effort to get my hair looking its best.

As a result, even though I am sporting a bathrobe and major bedhead I feel FAB today. It's gonna be a good (hair) day.

Even Better

2011-01-06T12:05:00.002-06:00

Even better news between recess and lunch...

Three representatives from the Student Success program came to visit and tour classrooms this morning. When they visited my room, the behaviour specialist asked to come back a make a video in my room to help other teachers in our program! Me!!! I was floored and then shot straight to the moon (in a completely good way).

She leaned over, right in front of me, and said to our Director, "She's really good." About me!

And my director answered, "I know."

That was the most incredible validation I have ever had. My heart is racing, my hands shaking. I can't wipe the grin off my face. I want to shout with joy from the rooftop.

This day could not possibly get any better.

Only Recess

2011-01-06T10:34:00.003-06:00

It's only recess, and I already have something to share today. Yeah!

I posted previously about my struggle with teaching reading and where I have travelled in that journey. Today I had a wonderful moment of sheer teacher-bliss.

I introduced the third of five literacy work stations to my students after our reading mini-lesson. Since the overhead doesn't have enough space for the whole class to practice at one we did a short rotation through the three stations that students have learned to use. Ten minutes at each station and a minute in between to tidy up and transition.

It was a-ma-zing! All my students were engaged for the whole time. I heard enthusiasm in voices. I had a student who can barely read trying his hand at cursive on the chalkboard, with infinite patience to work out the shapes of the letters. I actually sat at my desk on my hands! I was a silent observer to their practice of skills that they have been taught already and were working to master. Independently (oh sacred word of education!).

I feel like this is a huge moment of clarity for me. And I am so happy to have broken through the guided reading wall that has plagued me for the past while.

Now onward and upward to crafting small group experiences that rock their world!

PS: If you are interested in more info have a look at Practice with Purpose by Debbie Diller.

Small Changes

2011-01-04T19:25:00.002-06:00

As a teacher (actually in anything that I tackle) I am a bit of a perfectionist. I get all too easily frustrated when things don't work easily and often want to quit when the going gets tough. I have learned from my twenties that quitting just creates more problems, and struggling through something that is a challenge brings its own rewards. In fact, I may have come to relish the challenge of tasks (at least in my professional life - we won't talk about my personal life right now) that don't come easily.

Since my first year of teaching I have immersed myself in professional reading on literacy. I have read everything I could get my hands on, subscribed to and pored over various web chatboards and mailrings dedicated to literacy, and shamelessly experimented with different strategies and ideas on my ~~guinea pigs~~ students. I have learned a lot and enjoyed it a lot.

For the past two years I have been struggling with the whole levelled reading groups issue that is part of current teaching pedagogy. I know that they groups we do now are not the same as the robin/wren/eagle groups that were a part of schools in the seventies and eighties, but I still really have an emotional aversion to the whole small groups/centers framework. I can't find any research-based reason for my struggle, and so have decided that it is simply my stubbornness that wants to do it "the way that I have for ten years, and that worked very well, thank you very much".

This fall we were sent to a workshop by a colleague of Debbie Diller, who has written a number of books on using the reading workshop time that students are working independently for practice of literacy skills that don't require cutsey colouring or photocopied worksheets. I went in to the workshop hoping to get an "aha" solution to my frustrations and a way to get through my emotional block.

I got it. I am not sure what the "it" was, but it worked. And now I am taking another small step forward in teaching my students better. I am excited (as I always am when I start on a new project) about the possibilities.

And I hope that the small change of incorporating literacy work stations (not to be confused with literacy centers- of course the terms are too close to be clear at all, so yes there is confusion) into our reading workshop and shifting a few things around in our daily schedule means a more enjoyable day for my students as well as more learning.

Sometimes a few small changes make a big difference. I hope they will this time too.