Why

There are occasional days, like yesterday, where I wonder why bother with all the hard work and stress.  After several months of struggling to see progress with students, constant juggling of work priorities, and feeling like I am constantly dropping the ball at work I was really feeling the why.

Today I had a great big answer.

A student with whom I work had an amazing day.  In September this little guy quite seriously told me that he can't read.  Wouldn't even pick up a book.  So we have been working on literacy in little bits and pieces.  Those bits and pieces were so bitty that I lost sight of the big picture.

Today something magical happened.  Bits and pieces gelled into reading independently for the first time.  Eight books in a row.  He was so thrilled with his success that he didn't want to quit.  It was so incredible that I had tears in my eyes.  He was giggling about what he read and actually having fun!  Then he was giggling because I was silly enough to cry about it.

Watching a child who struggles with almost every aspect of school read all by himself is a treasure so far beyond all the millions of dollars that anyone can ever amass.  And I got to see it up close and personal today.

That's why.

Grumpy Pants

It turns out that my celebration of a quick return to health and strength (ie. running) was premature.  I went in to town for what I hoped was my last physio appointment today.  Turns out I have a hip injury that was just waiting to make itself known once I felt I had a handle on the shoulder.  The big clue was the back pain after two very slow walk-run sessions this week.  There is no way a 1 minute run followed by a 2 minute walk should cause enough back pain to make you cry.  That just shouldn't be.

So, after heat treatment and some pushing around, my hip is apparently back in alignment.  That is it was until I got in the car to drive an hour and a half home.  By the time I got home the pain was back and I was ready to pack it all in.

If LK and I can't get it back to its right place consistently this week I don't want to remember what the physio man said would happen.  I am in denial.  Besides I apparently have a long way to go in gaining back that last 10% of mobility.  And we haven't even tackled strength yet.  Aaargh!

So I am off to stretch, and try to sleep on my back.  I hate sleeping on my back.

Sheesh, what a grumpy pants!

Plans for Hope and a Future

I like to make plans.  It makes me feel safe to know that there is a plan in place; as well as several back-up plans.  I have struggled a LOT with letting go of my plan and trusting in the fact that God has a perfect plan for my life and transformation into his likeness.  The past year I have wrestled with that almost daily.

I have a plan for a 'white picket fence'.  My plan was always a house on a few acres big enough to grow into, old enough for character, and a place to learn the family tradition of DIY reno and maintenance.  It seems God had a better plan.

In fact, he always has a better plan.  He even tells us that in Jeremiah,

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, 

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you." 

(Jeremiah 29:11)

In my foolishness I didn't recognize it when he put it right in front of me. I shouldn't have been surprised.  He had a better plan for my husband than I did.  He had a better plan for my career path than I did.  He had a better plan for my children than I did.  He had a far better plan for my salvation than I did.

Now, in his grace far beyond my deserving, he had given us a home of our own.  A home in the country, but not too far out of town.  A home that makes LK commuting and continuing to serve in Grassy feasible.  A home with plenty of room to grow as a family and to welcome others in.  It is a house far different than the one in my plan.  It is also far better for who we are and how we serve God.

And that is very, very good.  So thanks be to God for this answer to the cries of my heart over the past many years.  And may we be a blessing to others in how we live in it and share it.

False Start

Well, my New Year had a bit of a false start.   We all went back to school on Monday morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 8AM.  By 8:30 I was on the floor with a dislocated shoulder.

So the whole family packed up for a trip to town.  The ambulance did a 'land meet' with us halfway there.  The first half of the trip was less than fun.  Key learning; injured parent, worried spouse, and upset children all in one car driving an hour on snow-covered, twisty roads is a recipe for absolute misery for everyone involved.

I relaxed hugely once I was in the ambulance (first ever for me).  Someone else knew what to do and was in charge.  It was toasty warm. There were blankets and pillows to support my very cranky shoulder.  And the sweet EMT was very gracious to listen and answer endless questions during the rest of the trip.

My poor family spent much of the day wandering about town waiting for me while I waited for my stomach to empty, x-rays to be done, and sedatives to take effect.

Good to know that I am not allergic to sedatives and I have really strong bones (no breaks).  My healthy habit of breakfast everyday, not so much fun when it delays treatment for several hours.  However, as I very much hope to never repeat that injury I will continue to eat a healthy breakfast every day.

By the time our students were leaving the school at the end of their first day back, we were packed up from the hospital and headed to fill my prescriptions for anti-inflammatories and pain-killers.  And then we limped home in much less stress and pain than we drove into town.

Never have we so keenly felt the huge distance between Grassy and Town as on that day.  L and I just looked at each other several times thinking how much simpler this would have been if we were closer to town.

After a week of prescribed rest- strictly enforced by my husband and my boss- I am up and about again.  Running will wait another week or two.  But walking and stretching to faithfully do my physio are something I am taking inordinate pleasure in this weekend.

It also makes for a very happy dog.

Pop Goes Fishing

This is Lego Pop (my dad and the Sprouts grandfather on my side).  If you know Pop you will recognize the beard, glasses and ever-present hat (to protect the dome in the summer).  Pop loves to take some quiet time for fishing from the shore or his kayak when he can.

His companions are Frank and Pica, both rez dogs that my parents adopted here in Grassy.  They love to be outside and go fishing with Pop.  They also love Pop more than anything else on this planet, including bones.
 

 

Guess what Pop caught?

 

If you guessed a body you would be wrong (just as Papa was).  Its clothes.

 

Not sure why the 'clothes' have hands, but okay.

 

Jo has spent much of this super-duper-freezing-cold holiday creating with our Lego collection.  Every time I go into his room there is a new story unfolding.  Every hour or so he comes tromping downstairs with a new piece of the story to share and for us to 'oo'h and 'aah' over.  Several times a day he manages to tempt his sister to join him and then the stories develop depth and layers that give JK Rowling a run for her money.

 

 

Cold Spell

For the past month the temperatures have been consistently lower than we have become used to.  At night the temps dip below -40C and we are excited if they rise above -25C during the day (and we all rush to put winter gear on and soak up the daylight and warmth while we can).  I keep thinking that the cold snap can't last much longer... but it has been more than two weeks of telling myself that and there is no 'warm' spell on the horizon.

I had fallen in love with northern Ontario winters.  The crisp air is refreshing.  The snow is light and fluffy (like feathers, but cold).  Although the shortest days in December and January are often hard to deal with (long shadows at noon depress me), the longest days in June more than make up for it.  There are always a few weeks that are this cold, but they are balanced by several weeks of beautiful crisp postcard winter weather.  And   the snow never turns grey from pollution.

This winter is testing my love and going to be hard on the wallet when the hydro bill arrives.

Less

At the dinner table tonight, Fi asked what everyone's New Year's resolutions were.  Jo plans to build Lego and quinzees every day for the year.  After a laugh we talked about the past year and our hopes for this year.

We had a clutter-free Christmas with very few gifts and minimal decorating/accumulating.  It was very freeing.  We feel like we stepped off a ride and have come to appreciate the stillness of solid ground under our feet.  No stress about finding the right thing that great-aunt Mary doesn't really need, but will fill the space under the tree as social custom demands.   No stress about decorating the house to look as nice as the one on Pinterest, or down the street.

With the freedom of this holiday resonating through the house we unanimously declared this the year of less.  We want to live with less clutter and crap in our lives.  Physical clutter and crap as well as spiritual and emotional.

The physical is obviously the easiest to deal with, so I am starting there.

A little web research and an evening later my closet if 50% lighter.  I have packed up half my clothes and am going to live with the half left in the closet for the next month.  If I don't die (which I highly suspect I won't) the packed up clothes are going to stay in their boxes and travel permanently away.

I feel lighter.  And now I am looking at what else we have been holding onto, but don't really need...