Tough Love

Since becoming a mother I have softened a fair bit. Some would say that is a good thing. Some would (and do) say that I have just turned into a softie. I am pretty sure that the old Mrs. K. was a better teacher than Mommy Me.

This year I am struggling with classroom management in a way that I have never before.

Recently I have been working hard on loving my students with tough, consistent love instead of endless patience. Consequences are everywhere. It feels like a steady stream of bodies heading to the office. And to top it all off, today Fearless Leader was in my classroom no less than six times. He was dragging students who wandered off to the bathroom back to class and checking on me.

He knows that I am struggling. He is doing everything he can to support me. But, what can he do beyond calling parents and asking them to come in and meet. He can't force them to come. Suspension isn't a punishment, and it doesn't do kids who are already more than a year behind any good.

School can be so much fun. Learning can be amazing and filled with wonder. But it isn't in my classroom right now. It's a drag. I am not having fun. My students are not having fun.

However, there are still those moments that make all the hair-greying-agony worthwhile. Today 75% of my class was actively engaged in exploring how prisms of various shapes and sizes interact with light. There were actual "oohs" and gasps as we created rainbows on the ceiling and walls.

And, dear, sweet Incredible Hulk with the heart of gold asked, "Am I doing better today?" I was delighted to answer yes.

Science Project

This year at school we are having a science fair. My class is supposed to do one whole-class project. This is cool. We can learn about the scientific process and understand a concept in our curriculum more deeply than we might otherwise do. I just need to find the right project.

On the home front, we have begun a science experiement of our own. We are sprouting seeds and watching the roots grow in large test tubes. We have planted radishes, carrots and onions. We did the planting on Friday. This morning there was already one radish seed with a tendril sprouting from its seed casing.

Fiona dug out her observation log and wrote diligently. Jo shouted for 5 minutes to Papa (who was upstairs) about it at the top of his lungs.

We all celebrate learning in our own ways.

Laundry

We bought a clothesline kit last fall when we came back from our holidays. We intended to hang it right away, save lots of money and energy, and enjoy the most delicious smell of sheets dried in the fresh air. We didn't get around to it for a while, for one reason or another.

After it sitting in our laundry room gathering dust for the entire fall and winter, my dearest LK hung that line last week. Just in time to wash and hang sheets for company on it. They smelled like heaven.

On a tangent, there is something totally yummy about watching my love in old jeans and a baseball cap working outside. I have a whole new appreciation for work. At least watching it from the porch with a cup of tea in my hand. Plus, he did a great job. It works perfectly.

This morning I took a load out and had a little quiet time while hanging it up. Actually, I didn't have quiet time. I had two little people standing inside the screen door trying to talk to me and complain about one another. But I tuned them out and meditated on the beauty of a load of whites blowing in the fresh air and anticipated the smell of sunshine and wind on them when I go back to fold them this afternoon.

I can stand at the sink washing dishes (another chore that is growing on me) and watch my whites flutter in the breeze. I can watch the sunshine dance across my shirts. Simple pleasures.

Feels Like Home for Real

There are landmark moments that make a place into home. Being close to family is a big one for most of us. For us, here, that isn't part of home here. I guess for many people who live far from their families it isn't. However, there are other moments that have made Grassy home for us.

This week we had company. Company in my home is a landmark for me. For most of the years we were in Toronto we didn't have a lot of overnight company. We were in a tiny apartment which made it easy to excuse our lack of gracious hospitality. In reality, if I am honest with myself and you, we just weren't practicing hospitality in an overnight way.

Here, if we want any guests we have to practice hospitality of the overnight kind. It has been wonderful; a growing experience and a blessing. My parents have been here, LK's mom has been, and now our dearest friends, and Hospitality Heroes, have been here.

They have family in the Peg, and were willing to take a few days out of a family visit to drive up to Grassy and check out our home. After the hours and hours of gracious hospitality that they have extended to us (and anyone who ever needed some TLC) over the years, it was so delightful to have them here.

We did the Grassy tour, the school tour, and hikes in the bush. We did lunch at the Plaza in town (the most lovely Greek food, and really gracious service- especially considering we had 4 small and loud children with us). Unfortunately, as parents of small children we were all exhausted by 8:30 pm and weren't able to get in a game of Settlers. Maybe when they come back (which I really hope they will) we will all have more energy (and our children will sleep through the night and past 5:30 am).

Yesterday we drove into town in convoy and waved them off at the highway. With big grins on our faces and tiny tears in the corner of our eyes we watched their car disappear down the road. We love our Hospitality Heroes dearly. Thank you for coming to visit us.

As we drove home after our town errands, LK turned to me and said, "It really feels like home, now that our friends have come to visit."

So, the adventure that was supposed to be just a year away from our real home is turning into our real home. God is changing us a little bit each day. I am thankful for the change- perhaps one day I will no longer be a city slicker.

Water Everywhere

We have had a week of very unseasonably warm weather. The lake is covered with a gigantic puddle that sits on top of the two-feet-thick ice that has been our ski trail for two and a half months. I was really hoping that we would get another month in. It looks like the ski season is over though.

Sigh.

On the bright side, the sun is up longer every day and it is time to pull out the running shoes.

This year my running buddy and I have decided to go for the gold and train for a 10k. This is a new goal for me. A big goal. I am excited, and a wee bit scared. It will mean some really early mornings. But it will also mean feeling even more strong and healthy than I felt last summer. And I can still eat chocolate. That, my friends, is worth a 5:30 alarm.

I keep telling myself that it can't possibly be spring yet. It is way too early. So I am waiting for March to go out like a lion, since it has wandered in like a sad, soggy lamb.

You don't help me.

The most common complaint I hear these days is, "You don't help me."

I do help. I don't give answers or do work for students. It seems we need to work on the difference between the two.

So, no, I won't tell you what the answer is. But I will sit beside you and help you figure it out. Because, my dearest friends, you have wonderfully creative brains that have the potential to change this world. A few math questions can't stop you unless you won't accept the hand held out to walk with you and instead insist on sitting in the corner and feeling sad that it's going to take work on your part as well as mine.

Please walk with me. I know we can do this together.

Fraying Ends

I was browsing through Good Housekeeping in the library yesterday and there was an article about when to let the fraying ends of a relationships go. It connected directly with my biggest struggle this past month. Unfortunately I didn't read it. I got distracted with kids and never went back to it.

When do you know that a relationship is toxic? How do you handle that? What about their need for someone in their life who isn't toxic? Can you be light to them without becoming toxic yourself?

What about when you feel that your friendship is constantly being tested, but the person in question assures you that everything is fine? My gut says it isn't fine.

Why are people so complicated? Am I that complicated? If so, I apologize to my loved ones for putting you through the crap because you love me. Please hold me accountable when I am being a pain in the patoot. I don't want to be toxic. I want to be a blessing to you. I want to experience you as a blessing.

PS... you can find the recipe for homemade carpet cleaner at http://www.howtocleanthings.com/how-to-clean-vomit.htm. It worked beautifully for me.

Hanging In There

Long day.

Tired.

But still hanging in there.

Will post the recipe for carpet shampoo soon.