Rollercoasters

Some days feel like an endless roller coaster ride. Today I had that fear/excitement stomach knot all day. FK fell Friday night while playing with friends but didn't say anything about it until Saturday morning. In the night she was complaining about her arm hurting - I thought growing pains (which she has had before in her legs). Saturday she wouldn't straighten it all day, complaining that it hurt too much. By dinner I was convinced it could well be broken and so after supper we went off to Emergency. A massive parking bill, three x-rays and three hours later she was declared fine. FK was very excited about her adventure and please no needles were involved and dragged her exhausted mother home.

To add to the stress I got a phone call right after lunch about a job interview. I was so stunned that a principal would call on a Saturday that I was barely coherent. I managed to ask for time to try to change my schedule around to accommodate the interview (which really meant letting my whole family down by post phoning our long weekend holiday plans) and getting her voicemail extension to leave a message to confirm the appointment for Monday. So I stewed (as I do) all day about how to handle this. Does she know I'm not on the "approved" list? Will she cancel the interview if I tell her at the beginning? Could this be it? What was the specific job I applied for at this school- classroom, rotation, part-time, or full-time? Why did I recycle that list I made? On and on it went all day.

So, after consulting various family and friends for the inevitable rounds of advice-seeking (another thing I do), I left a message that I hope was positive and honest. We'll see if I get a call Monday morning cancelling the interview.

These are the days when I think about Gumby and learning to be more flexible. I don't think there will ever be a time when I have learned to be flexible enough to deal with the roller coaster ride. Flexibility should definitely be a fruit of the Spirit.

In My Children

Watching my children play makes it easy to find Waldo. He lurks in their smiles and joy at being able to climb a ladder all by themselves. He explodes out of laughter as they revel in summer evenings.

We spent the evening with friends. What a treasure friends are! The connection I have with my girlfriends is such a blessing. And rare. I can count the number of women I have been able to be completely myself with in my adult life on one hand. Right now they are all an active part of my life. I feel so rich in their company.

Perhaps as I age and learn to be more a peace with who I am and less concerned with what the rest of the world thinks those friendships will become less rare.

Today I am holding on to the feeling of a kindred spirit (as LM Montgomery would say) and being thankful for my girls.

Where's Waldo?

So I have taken a leap of faith that at times feels remarkably foolish. I felt that I was unable to continue to work and serve in the place where I have been gainfully employed for the past six years. So, two months ago as I returned from my maternity leave I quit. Now as a teacher, quitting means finishing out a contract. So, today was my last day of work.

What is foolish about that? I don't have another job to go to. Currently, the job prospects in teaching here in Ontario are not plentiful. So, a seemingly foolish decision.
However, that is where Waldo comes in. I have been reading God is Closer Than You Think by John Ortberg this spring and finally finished two nights ago. Ortberg compares finding God in our daily lives to finding Waldo in the children's books Where's Waldo. God is there in every day, hidden in a moment or person.

So now I am living on faith day-to-day that there was a purpose in me quitting my job. There is a plan, I just haven't been briefed yet. It's need-to-know only at this point. I do know that I have to apply to every job that I am qualified for, be ready for interviews and look for Waldo with signs to point the way every day.